The Psychology of Feeling Stuck With Food - and How to Move Forward

Our relationship with food is deeply personal and often shaped by complex challenges. You might call yourself an emotional eater or find yourself somewhere along the spectrum of disordered eating. For some, this might look like years of yo-yo dieting or ongoing battles with binge eating. For others, rigid food rules may dominate your thoughts, where there is the potential of disordered eating progressing into an eating disorder.

The Conflict of Emotions

Whatever form it takes, disordered eating often involves a common psychological thread: ambivalence toward change. You may recognise certain eating behaviours as problematic but feel resistant or even afraid to let go of them because they serve a purpose in your life. These behaviours might offer temporary benefits, yet they simultaneously take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

For instance, you may notice how relentless thoughts about food and your body consume mental space, leaving little room for relationships, hobbies, or joy. Over time, this strain can erode your connections with others, diminish your overall quality of life, and impact your work or social experiences.

While these behaviours might feel like they offer relief, such as believing weight loss will lead to acceptance, their benefits are often short lasting. Research shows that weight loss doesn’t resolve body image struggles or low self-esteem because it doesn’t address the underlying issues. Similarly, binge or emotional eating may temporarily numb stress or pain but often leaves you with shame, guilt, and self-loathing.

Understanding Mixed Feelings

Acknowledging the ambivalence you feel toward change is an important step. It’s essential to recognise the ways these behaviours act as coping mechanisms, while also being honest about their negative impact on your life.

One practical way to explore these mixed feelings is through the Pros and Cons Exercise. This reflective activity can help you identify the perceived benefits and costs of both maintaining and changing your eating behaviours.

How to Use the Pros and Cons Exercise

1. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four sections. Label them as follows:

• Pros of Staying the Same

• Cons of Staying the Same

• Pros of Changing

• Cons of Changing

2. Set aside 10–15 minutes in a quiet, uninterrupted space. Use a timer to help keep you focused.

3. Write honestly in each section, allowing your thoughts to flow without judgment.

4. Once you’ve completed the exercise, take time to reflect. Were you surprised by what you wrote? Do these behaviours align with the life you want to live? Are they worth the continued impact on your health, relationships, and happiness?

This simple yet powerful exercise can provide clarity, helping you take the first steps toward meaningful change. Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight, but recognising and addressing these conflicting motivations is a vital part of the journey to healing your relationship with food.

If you’re ready to dig deeper into understanding your relationship with food and take actionable steps to create lasting change, my best selling book, 📕 The Binge Freedom Method , provides the tools and support you need. Packed with practical strategies, science-based insights, nutritional wisdom, compassionate and guidance, to create a lasting, balanced relationship with food and your body.

You can also download my Breaking the Cycle Toolkit straight away for FREE,  which includes key steps designed to help you reconnect with your appetite cues and begin taking small, practical steps toward food freedom.