How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, as she is a victim of diet culture’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

My clients find that simply replying to any comments with ‘Thank you’ and then changing the subject can be extremely effective and empowering.

Alternatively you may want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Struggling with sugar cravings?

Does this resonate with you?

-You crave certain foods when you’re not hungry

-You worry about cutting down on certain foods.

-You feel sluggish or fatigued (especially from compulsive eating).

-You need more and more of the foods you crave to experience any pleasure or reduce negative emotions.

Reducing your sugar intake can help you to feel more energised, satiated and balanced. But I know from experience that it can be a challenge and particularly for many women that I work with who struggle with emotional eating, bingeing, and yo-yo dieting.

The white stuff is ubiquitous. It goes without saying that you’ll find it in obvious and some less obvious foods, on every shop corner, wherever you go.

Cutting down on sugar can feel hard – especially if you have spent years using sugary treats to give you an energy boost, as a coping mechanism for stress or as a reward for getting through the day.

HERE ARE MY TOP TIPS TO GET YOU STARTED:

1. Observe how you start the day

Start your day with a bowl of cereal and in many cases, you’re starting with a good portion of sugar! Switch to something containing protein accompanied with fruit or even veggies to help to regulate your blood sugar from the get-go

2. Be conscious (but not obsessive) about food labels

It’s helpful to be aware that “sugar free” or “no added sugar” often doesn’t mean it has no sugar- sometimes the sugar is disguised as something else. Here are just a few alternative sugar names:  sucrose, fructose, glucose, dextrose, galactose, lactose, maltose, invert sugar, raw sugar, corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, isoglucose, brown rice syrup, barley malt and malodextrin.

It’s important to not get too hung up on these but maybe helpful to decipher why for example a certain food you consume regularly isn’t making you feel that great or leads to cravings later in the day.

3.  Be mindful of juices and smoothies!

Fruit juices contain a fair amount of natural sugar but without the fibre (that the whole fruit contains) to slow its progress into your bloodstream. Fruit laden smoothies do just the same.  If you enjoy smoothies, go for combinations of leafy greens, avocado, mixed seeds and a limited amount of fruit (mixed berries are helpful for blood sugar balancing)

4. Say no to artificial sweeteners

Artificial sweeteners are man-made products that are no more helpful to us than real sugar. They can upset your digestive system and some – notably aspartame and acesulfame-K – have been linked to other health conditions.

What you may not know is that artificial sweeteners – and many other ‘natural sweeteners’ that find their way into ‘health foods’ –behave in the body the same way as actual sugar by raising your blood glucose levels. I would personally go for the real stuff given the choice!

5. Don’t make sugar a forbidden food

This one may confuse you and yes you read that right! When we demonise and deprive ourselves completely of certain foods – the power of said foods is increased. You are less likely to have bingeing episodes, when giving yourself unconditional permission to eat foods containing sugar and far more likely to eat in a balanced way.

Are you ready for a new approach to eating and leave dieting behind for good? 

Un-diet your Mind is my new 21-day coaching course where you will unlearn your old food patterns & make new confident choices. I will be with you every step of the way, so you feel supported and motivated to begin the process of long lasting change. Its starting on Monday 1st November

Join my VIP wait list to be the first to be notified when the course goes live and have the chance to enrol at the discounted price!

The course is just £89 and only £69 to the first 15 people who enrol
The first 15 people who join the course will receive the special discount 

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, she feels ashamed of her body’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

You may also want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Is Hunger really your enemy?

I regularly see my clients desperately upset when we first start working together, because they constantly feel hungry. Some fear the hunger to such an extent that it takes over their life - it feels like something that they ‘should’ be able to control.

On the other hand, many of the women I work with find it hard to define if they regularly experience true hunger, when they first approach me for help.

Many respond to hunger as it were their enemy. They either feel it intensely in the pit of their stomach or they are craving food when not necessarily hungry. Perhaps they are using food as a coping mechanism – a replacement for something they are really needing. If either scenario is a reality for you, read on to discover what might be going on.

What’s the difference between physical hunger and head hunger?

The first thing to work out is if the hunger you are feeling, is true physical hunger or head hunger.

Physical, bodily hunger can be identified when you feel the sensation in your body – often your stomach. Perhaps it’s a hollow feeling, or light headedness. Your stomach sends this message to your brain and you will feel it whether or not you see or smell food.

Head hunger however, is affected by external cues. For example, you may walk past a bakery. You can see and smell freshly baked pastries and then think – I’ve really got to buy some of that.

There are no physical symptoms – it may be the pure fact that you’ve seen it and it looks good. It may habitual (ie you pass the same bakery every day and it has become your default behaviour to stop off and buy the pastry on your way home). Or you may be feeling sad, stressed, anxious, fed up or angry and think – that is exactly what I need to make me feel better.

If what you are experiencing is in fact head hunger– this isn’t a sign of weakness or something to fear. It is very often a signal that we have an unmet need. Learning to understand these signals with self-compassion is a key part of the process of creating positive change.

And what if you feel true bodily hunger all the time?

If your hunger is real and you experience it all the time, this is also something to embrace. It is your body’s way of telling you it needs nourishment.

Many of the women I work with have experienced intense hunger after they finish their meal. Often this is purely because they have not been allowing themselves to eat enough -following a self-imposed rule of how much they 'should' be eating.

One lovely lady expressed disbelief the other day when she realised what a difference it made to eat three balanced meals a day and give herself permission to have more if required. Following this she no longer needed to snack or binge in the evenings and was able to enjoy her eating experience.

What if you just don’t know?

We are all born to innately respond to hunger, fullness and satiety. Think of how babies and toddlers eat when they are hungry and push food away spit it out or throw it on the floor when they are not. They instinctively know.

Sadly, over time this skill becomes eroded by the influence of our environment, mass media and diet culture -Have you ever been on a diet that focuses on your hunger and satiety?!

The good news is that this skill can be relearned. It takes work and focus to start listening to your body to then be able to trust and respond to it. But it can be achieved. I have seen my clients change the way they think about food and eating, liberate their mind and make incredible life transformations

Are you ready to create change in your life? 

Are you stuck in a cycle of emotional eating, bingeing or yo-yo dieting? 

Are you ready to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, FREE Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I share tips, simple recipe, meal, and snack ideas along with strategies, motivation and supportive practices within the group and its FREE to join!

It’s time to release yourself from the shackles of diet culture + empower yourself to create positive change- start today!