Why you are not a calorie machine

For many people who come to me for help, calories weigh heavily on their mind. They are relentlessly worrying over what they should or shouldn't eat, often influenced by misguided beliefs about calorie counts and the inaccurate metrics found on food packaging labels.

For decades we have been conditioned to view ourselves as a calorie machine -lead to believe that achieving a calorie deficit, will grant us control over our body size, weight and shape. This notion is not only false but perpetuates the idea that we are to blame for not meeting society’s unrealistic body standards. It leads to feelings of guilt and shame, causing low self-worth and unnecessarily harm.

Contrary to the diet culture narrative that calories in equals calories out, our bodies are far more complex and dynamic, with numerous factors influencing weight control beyond simple calorie intake and expenditure.

The fact is we all require significantly different amounts of energy. For each individual, this will vary from day to day and from person to person will depend on their age, height, weight, gender, lifestyle and many other factors. Even two people of the same height and age may have vastly different calorie needs.

To understand this further let’s looks at how your body spends its calories:

• The energy you need to stay alive uses approximately 60% of your daily calories and depends on the amount of muscle and fat you have, your age, gender and genetics. Your thirty-seven trillion cells are hard at work, allowing your heart to beat, your body to breath, producing hormones and growing and repairing cells, for example. This takes a huge amount of work and energy!

• You burn around 10% of your daily calories to process your food (yes, that much to digest and absorb nutrients!) and this depends on the amount you eat, the type of food and your genes.

• Your daily activity uses in the region of 15-30% of your daily calories. This will depend on the type, duration and intensity of activity and your body weight. There are many advantages to exercising but going to the gym to compensate for eating a ‘forbidden’ food is not a helpful strategy. It is always better to eat a balanced diet without depriving yourself of essential nutrients and exercise moderately.

• And although your liver and brain make up only a small part of your body weight; they each account for one fifth of the calories you need to stay alive.

Notably, calories from different foods have different effects on your body – impacting your satiety levels, insulin response, fat storage and overall energy expenditure. Hence fixating on counting calories proves futile, as it overlooks these many significant factors.

The solution lies in cultivating a healthy relationship with food, adding variety in to your diet and allowing eating to become a positive and nourishing experience.

I support women who are exhausted by the relentless cycle of calorie counting, food anxiety, and weight fluctuations, and who are eager to foster a positive relationship with food and their body. If you're ready to bid farewell to yo-yo dieting, binge eating, disordered or emotional eating once and for all, and embark on a journey of lasting transformation, I warmly invite you to book in a complimentary consultation with me HERE. Together, we can explore if a personalised one-on-one programme is the right fit for you and how I can help.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Is Losing Weight the Key to your Happiness?

Are you constantly striving to attain a smaller body? For many people, this preoccupation consumes their thoughts and impacts many aspects of their life. If this is something you have been battling with, have you ever considered if shrinking your body will genuinely make you happy?

 For many of my clients who struggle with their relationship with food and their body, this question resonates deeply. They begin to peel away layers of societal conditioning, personal insecurities, and the relentless pressure to conform to unrealistic standards of beauty.

What is fuelling your deep desire to shrink your body?

The desire to be thin often stems from the belief that thinness equates to happiness, acceptance, and love. But if you delve deeper into this belief, you may uncover something far more enlightening.

• Take a moment to reflect on times when you might have been thinner. Were you genuinely happier then? Or was it a fleeting sense of satisfaction? Perhaps, like many of my clients, you found that it was never enough, and you were still striving to lose more weight.

• It might be that you were happy then. If so, was it attributed to your weight, or were there other aspects of your life contributing to your happiness, such as being in a positive relationship or having a great job?

• Perhaps you didn’t truly find happiness at all then. If this is the case, it's valuable to reflect on this when thoughts about losing weight dominate your thinking.

What else might be driving preoccupation with your weight

Weight Stigma and Diet Culture: In a society that glorifies thinness and demonises larger bodies, it's no wonder that many of us internalise these harmful messages. From media representations to interpersonal interactions, the pressure to conform to a certain body size is widespread.

Seeking Control: For some, the pursuit of thinness becomes a way to exert a feeling of control in a chaotic world. By focusing on your body you might feel in control of something where stress and overwhelm has taken over many aspects of your life. Consider what you might be trying to block out with this focus on your weight.

Thinness as a Moral Virtue: Thinness is often equated with morality and being virtuous, perpetuating the harmful notion that your worth is tied to your body size. But being thin does not make us inherently better people. Our value lies in our character, our actions, and the impact we have on the world around us.

External Validation: The validation you might receive for losing weight may provide a temporary high, but it’s important to recognise that your worth is not dependant on the approval of others, it has to come from within. Bear in mind also that the validation you seek is often from others who are struggling with their own issues around food and body image.

So how can you break free from the shackles of diet culture and cultivate true happiness? It starts with embracing body acceptance and shifting your focus away from thinness as the ultimate goal.

Here are some steps to get you started:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Recognise that your struggles with food and body image are valid and worthy of compassion. Instead of berating yourself for not meeting unrealistic body standards, offer yourself kindness and understanding.

2. Challenge Internalised Beliefs: Question your beliefs about thinness and worthiness. Challenge the notion that your value is tied to your body size, and embrace your worthiness, irrespective of your appearance.

3. Foster Authentic Connections: Shift your focus to the qualities that truly matter in relationships. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, not based on your appearance, but because of who you are as a person.

4. Pursue Meaningful Experiences: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, regardless of how of your body size. Whether it's socialising, holidays or dancing, prioritise experiences that nourish your soul.

Try to remind yourself every day that true happiness lies in embracing yourself as you are, freeing yourself from the constraints of societal expectations, and embracing a life rich in meaning and connection.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

New Year, New Perspective; Escaping the January Diet Trap

Christmas day has come and gone – the day when we are told to indulge. The final opportunity to ‘allow’ yourself to relish chocolates, cakes, biscuits and whatever else is on offer without restraint. Very soon you’ll be heading into the month of deprivation hopping back on to the diet hamster wheel. Sound familiar?

And yes, it is important to be able to enjoy treats, alongside to the foods that will sustain you -keep you energised and optimise your health. Allowing yourself complete freedom to eat these foods at any time of the year will decrease your desire for them and reduce the likelihood of binge behaviours.

Diet culture opposes this notion.

The diet and fitness industry heavily invests in the ‘New Year- New You’ narrative – after all it contributes to the industry’s multi-billion-pound bank balance. It benefits them when we overindulge over Christmas, feel bad about it, and are quickly  propelled headfirst into the next dieting regime.

At this time of year, we are bombarded with a deluge of this messaging, and it’s everywhere. The before and after images, the promises of dropping a dress size or shedding pounds so that you can finally be ‘good enough’ and everything will come right in your life. And I get it – this narrative is powerful.

My message to you is different. Protect yourself from the misery that dieting brings. If you’ve been there before then don’t expect a different outcome by returning down that same path. We know that dieting doesn’t bring lasting results. Your body has inbuilt regulation mechanisms to slow your metabolism and amplify your hunger when you try to restrict. It’s not that you have failed in the past; rather, it's the diets themselves that have let you down.

This January can be different for you. There is a way to create balance in your life. and dieting and restriction prevents that.

Start here and now by downloading my FREE guide, 'Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food.'

This structured 4 step guide is an essential resource for anyone who suffers from emotional or disordered eating.

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Understand the best way to structure your eating routine

✔️Develop a better understanding of your body’s appetite cues 

✔️Navigate snacking to help you reduce cravings and feel satiated

✔️Use the journaling pages (included) to gain a deeper understanding of your eating behaviour, thoughts and emotions 

Also included: 

✔️My free appetite tool 

✔️My free journaling pages

✔️Snack ideas

<<<I work with a small number of clients each month to give them the maximum support for a minimum of 6 months to help them transform their life. If you are struggling with your relationship with food, book in a complimentary call HERE to see how I can help >>>

Emotional eater? Here’s why dieting is not the answer

As someone who works with women who consider themselves to be emotional eaters, I’m asked this question ALL the time. But what defines an emotional eater? And will dieting stop it in it’s tracks?

To some extent we all emotionally eat. During celebrations we might eat some delicious cake when we’re not hungry. Perhaps because it’s a happy event, to be social, connect with people, take joy from the whole experience. It might not have been a conscious decision to eat the cake.

Often, emotional eating isn’t a problem that needs solving. Sometimes we do eat for comfort when we are feeling sad, angry stressed or alone. It is a coping mechanism we can turn to for a sense of solace. Comfort is after all defined as ‘a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint’.

However, emotional eating can be complex. When it becomes our ONLY mechanism for soothing ourselves, and leads to anxiety, obsession, and overwhelm, emotional eating is no longer our friend.

The difficulties occur when it becomes a never-ending cycle, channelling feelings of guilt and shame. Often ‘all or nothing’ thinking is at the heart of this cycle - ever said to yourself “I’ve blown it today so I may as well just carry on”?

Many women battle with this for years of their life and repeatedly turn to dieting to put a stop to it. If this resonates – let me ask you this, is dieting the solution to your emotional eating or the solution to the feelings of contempt you have for your own body?

The problem is that dieting (AKA food restriction) often plays a role in emotional eating or bingeing. The scientific literature explains that there are several complex mechanisms and research is still ongoing. Put simply we know that dieting often leads to food obsession, hunger and intense cravings. Perhaps you are burdened with those relentless thoughts 24/7, that hijack your headspace on a daily basis? Dieting is not the solution but the fuel to the fire.

SO WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

• Learning to be able to clear your head of diet thinking and cultivate a new mindset; giving yourself the permission to eat what you love without feeling out of control.

• Learning to eat in a way that helps you to feel satisfied so that you no longer have cravings

• Learning to reconnect with your body and know when to start and stop eating

• Learning to acknowledge your emotions, not push them away and find other, more helpful coping mechanisms.

AND WHERE CAN YOU START? 

If perpetual dieting has left you in a muddle about food and eating, and you feel overwhelmed anxious and confused about what, how much and when to eat then have a read of my free resource ‘What the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know’

You can download this HERE to support you on your journey to dismantle your diet mindset and begin the process of breaking free from dieting, binge eating or emotional eating.

8 Tell-Tale Signs about Your Relationship with Food

Do you think of yourself as a ‘normal’ eater?

Perhaps you’ve not been at peace with food for so long, that your eating feels normal to you.

Maybe you have never considered yourself to be a disordered eater. After all many of the signs are accepted as ‘normal’ within our culture.

I am often approached by women seeking help for weight loss, when it's in fact their eating behaviours that we need to address. So, what are the signs of dysregulated eating? And what is the difference between ‘normal’ eating, disordered eating and eating disorders?

Dysregulated eating is complex and often misunderstood and so in the run up to Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I would like to help clarify.

Are you a disordered eater? 

You do not need to have all the signs to suffer with disordered eating. Here are 8 signs that you may be: 

1.      You restrict your food– counting calories, avoiding food groups, severe dieting

2.      You experience some bingeing episodes (but do not meet diagnostic criteria for Binge Eating Disorder)

3.      You find yourself excessively exercising in order to change your body size

4.      You sometimes vomit after eating (self -induced)

5.      You use laxatives in order to change your body size or diet pills.

6.      You experience a degree of body image distortion

7.      You make judgments about yourself and your value based on your body size, weight or shape

8.      You are persistently preoccupied with food, dieting, eating and your body

Eating disorder sufferers will go on a journey and the signs of disordered eating may indicate that they are heading in this direction. Eating disorders and disordered eaters are on the same continuum - it is very easy for a disordered eater to slip in to eating disorder territory. It is also possible for people to experience several eating disorders in their lifetime, they often morph from one to another.

The eating disorder charity BEAT estimates that 1.25 million people are currently suffering from an eating disorder in the UK. This is only the only the tip of the iceberg representing those who have been officially diagnosed. Many others remain undiagnosed, so the figure is likely to be higher.

Eating disorders are common in individuals between 14 and 25 years but you may be surprised to hear that they have been seen in children as young as 6 and in people in their 70s. They can affect people regardless of their background, ethnicity, gender, age and body size. One of the biggest misconceptions being that someone must be underweight in order to have an eating disorder.

So what does a balanced relationship with food and body look like?

·         You exercise for fun and health

·         You have a good body image – accept it without trying too hard to change it, or evaluate it

·         Your overall eating patterns are balanced (perhaps you miss the odd meal or occasionally overeat)

·         You do not obsess over food, eating, diets or your body

·         You might emotionally eat sometimes- but this is not your only coping mechanism and it does not cause you distress.

If you are struggling with an unhealthy relationship with food and your body or believe you may be suffering with an eating disorder, please reach out for help.

I work with a limited number of clients to offer one to one support over a minimum of 3 months and would be happy to have a chat with you to see how I can help. If you would be better suited to work with another practitioner, I will let you know, and sign post you accordingly.

Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.

You can also come and join me in The Food Freedom Collective community – a free group to support you on journey to find freedom around food and your body.

Forget resolutions – try this instead

As 2022 draws to a close, my focus is on beginning this new year with a positive sense of purpose.

Here are a few things to reflect on that I hope you might find useful:

• Enjoy quality time with your loved ones – spend time with the people that bring positive energy rather than those who zap you.

   Avoid making new year’s resolutions –(around 80% of these fail leaving you feeling like a failure! They are often unrealistic and create unnecessary pressure. Instead reflect back on the year – what has worked well for you this year? (and even if you don’t feel that anything has, look for any small wins you have had).  What has been challenging? What is your vision for the coming year -what would you like to achieve / work towards? Then decide where you want to focus your energy and time this coming year.

• This brings me to my final thought – if shrinking your body has been your focus last year – and it has kept you feeling anxious, miserable and trapped in a cycle of restriction, what is your true purpose for the year ahead and beyond? Will a smaller body really solve all your problems? What will REALLY make you happy?

If you are you struggling with your eating and your relationship with food + your body, head over to The Food Freedom Collective free group, for daily support and weekly live videos to tackle your challenges

If any of these resonate then this community is for you :

💠You are on and off diets all the time

💠You find yourself binge eating

💠You are an ‘emotional eater’

💠You restrict food in order to lose weight

💠 You can’t stop thinking about your weight, appearance or food

💠 You feel overwhelmed and confused no longer knowing what you ‘should’ eat

Wishing you a happy and healthy New year

 Marcelle x