How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, as she is a victim of diet culture’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

My clients find that simply replying to any comments with ‘Thank you’ and then changing the subject can be extremely effective and empowering.

Alternatively you may want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Why calories on menus are harmful + won’t solve your weight worries

A few weeks ago, it became compulsory for large chain restaurants, cafes and takeaways to print calorie labels on menus.  In order to help us make ‘healthier’ choices and solve the ‘obesity crisis’.

However, there is little evidence that the government will achieve its goals. Large chains in the US have been required to print calories on menus since 2018, and this is proving to do little for their ‘obesity crisis’. The problem is that this directive is not only flawed, but it  creates many more problems.

For many of my clients, who battle with eating disorders/ disordered eating, the idea of enjoying a meal out with friends creates a great deal of anxiety. They know their calorie intake when preparing their own food but, in a restaurant, feel a lack of control. Much of the work we do is helping them to rewire their thinking around calories and food. Seeing calories on menus is extremely triggering- a reminder that they must chose the lowest calorie option, creating added stress and fuelling their eating disorder behaviour.

The reality is that for most people weight loss is not just about knowing what choices to make….

The government may claim that this new strategy will be a game changer, for people struggling with their weight. But the reality is that for most people weight loss is not just about knowing what choices to make. Weight science is complex – it is far more than creating a deficit between calories in and calories out.

This policy ignores many of the underlying problems when it comes to the nation’s health. Instead of solving the country’s health inequalities, it places the ‘blame firmly with the individual – i.e ‘it’s up to you to make the right choice’

When we rely on the calories in calories out theory, we are ignoring the fact that each of us is unique with complicated regulatory systems, our own health history and genetics. This involves a complex interaction between hormones, brain chemicals, the gut ecosystem, energy requirements, fuel source availability, genes and hundreds of other variables, all interconnecting.

Food is so much more than calories…

We are also neglecting the fact that every calorie behaves differently within the body as food is so much more than calories. Food is information for the body that changes our genetic expression. It consists of macro nutrients (carbohydrates, protein and fats), micronutrients (minerals and vitamins), phytonutrients and enzymes which all interplay with our biology in so many ways.

And of course, for many people food is used as a coping mechanism. Providing people with the misconception that low calorie equates to healthy food is an unhelpful falsehood. If emotional eating or bingeing is involved, guilting folks to feel bad about what they’re eating is just going to add fuel to the fire.

If you think calories on menus are going to negatively impact your eating behaviour, there are a few things to consider:

• Choose to eat in smaller independent outlets as they are not required to follow the new legislation.

• Request a menu without calories (Outlets are not legally required to provide them, but some will have them available.)

• Remember, you do not need to compensate for what you’ve eaten when out, before or after the meal.

• Set yourself a time limit for how long you spend looking at the menu.

• If you can’t decide what to eat, you could order what your friends or family are having.

A focus on calories, takes away the enjoyment from food and eating, when eating out should be a pleasurable experience. What will you do to keep it that way?

If you are stuck in a diet mindset, have realised that dieting and restriction doesn’t work for you and want to understand why, then take a look at my free download - ‘What the diet Industry doesn’t want you to know’. Using evidenced based weight science research, it exposes the biggest weight loss myths and why you have been trapped in the relentless dieting cycle.

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, she feels ashamed of her body’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

You may also want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

5 simple ways to jazz up your veggies

Most people know that eating plenty of veg is helpful. Common challenges surround the practicality of upping the variety of veggies in your daily diet. Some people struggle with the belief that vegetables are boring. And yes, if you are dishing up an over boiled side of something- I would tend to agree with you!  

But veggies provide a variety of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and a diversity of fibre that your gut will thank you for. Boosting veggies and thus fibre will also help you to regulate your blood sugar and prevent sugar cravings.

There are a variety of ways to spruce up your veg so they can be tasty and satisfying. If you’re in a vegetable rut, then here are amazingly easy and delicious ways to serve veggies you will never have thought of before

1. Sensational sautés!

This is a great way to serve up a colourful rainbow of veg all in one dish– it literally takes minutes. You can add any seasoning. I personally love paprika, chilli seeds and oregano. But fresh basil, thyme, rosemary, sweet smoked paprika, cumin etc all work beautifully too. Have a look at the video below to see how easy it is!

These veggies work as fantastic potato chip/ crisp alternatives:

2. sweet potato wedges with fresh rosemary salt and pepper

• Preheat the oven to 220°C

• Cut sweet potato into chip or wedge shapes and combine in a bowl with a dash of olive oil, rosemary, salt, and pepper.

• Place in a single layer on a baking tray lined in greaseproof paper. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, turning halfway

3. Courgette and asparagus with ground almonds and parmesan

• Preheat oven to 220°C

• Cut courgette and chip shapes and asparagus into chip lengths- set aside.

• In a bowl combine ground almonds, parmesan, garlic powder, basil, salt, and pepper.

• Whisk eggs in a separate bowl.

• Dip the veg in eggs, coating evenly, and then toss into the ground almond mixture.

• Place on a baking tray lined in greaseproof paper. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, turning halfway

4. Carrots with parsley and paprika

• Preheat oven to 220°C

• Cut carrots into chip shapes and combine in a bowl with a dash of olive oil, parsley, paprika, salt, and pepper.

• Place in a single layer on a baking tray lined in greaseproof paper. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, turning halfway

5. Kale Crisps

• Preheat the oven to 150˚C.

• Blend 75g cashew nuts, 1 shallot (chopped) , 2tbsp nutritional yeast flakes, ½ tsp garlic salt, 4 soft large dates (chopped), 2 tbsp lemon juice, 2 tbsp water, 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar together until you create a thick paste. Add a little more water if you need to.

• Put a 250g bag of kale in a bowl, add the sauce and massage together with your hands. Place on a lined baking tray and bake for 15-20 minutes. Turn the kale over and bake for a further 5 minutes. Cool.

• The crisps will keep for 3 days in an airtight container.

 You can find my video and recipe of an alternative even more basic recipe HERE

Top Tip: If you don’t eat the vegetable stalks eg from broccoli or cabbage, cut them off and freeze them to add to soups at a later date!

I would love to hear what you think of these ideas- just hit reply and let me know!

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. If you are someone who battles with sugar cravings, find yourself on a diet rollercoaster, perhaps emotionally eat or binge, there is a way to free your body and mind from the endless misery it brings. 

Introducing foods that will support your physiology is just one piece of puzzle alongside building a healthy mindset, eating psychology and appetite and satiety reconnection to name a few.

If you yearn to to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food, come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, FREE Facebook community- 

This is a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I share tips, simple recipe, meal, and snack ideas along with strategies, motivation and supportive practices within the group and its FREE to join!

It’s time to release yourself from the shackles of diet culture + empower yourself to create positive change- start today!