Most of the people I work with share a profound dissatisfaction with their body. Overwhelmed by shame and the fear of judgment from others, they find no respite from their endless ruminations about their appearance. These relentless thoughts permeate their every moment, casting a shadow over their relationships, mood, and overall existence.
When women approach me for help, more-often-than-not, their priority is to lose weight. They would finally be happy if they could reclaim their body shape, fit in to societal norms of the ideal body size and no longer be judged.
But as we begin to dig deeper, we need to address the root cause of their eating behaviour. Why they have low self-worth and the only value they place on themselves is their dress size or the number on the scales. Going on the next diet will not address their body image issues or eating habits. The two are just not compatible.
Towards the end of our first conversation, (I always offer a complimentary call to check we are the right fit.) I often ask how it would feel to overcome their eating behaviour and the relentless cycle they are in. There is always a pause and a deep breath before the same word is uttered ‘freedom.’
You might not have an eating disorder. And yes body image issues are prevalent amoung people with diagnosed eating disorders. But for so many others who are not ‘normal eaters’ this is their reality too. Is this yours?
So why does your body image effect how you eat?
Let’s look at an example. You are out with a group of friends and you begin to compare yourself to them. I’m much bigger than everyone, I feel fat and ugly next to them. Why are they all so thin and I’m not? -you get the gist. The next thing that happens is that you feel worthless, a failure, bad. This can go 2 ways – you decide to go on a restrictive diet that day (which inevitably leads to a binge at some point) or you go straight to the ‘f*ck it switch’ – well I’ll never be like them so I may as well just go for it – that may turn into days of bingeing. This all comes back to how you feel about yourself.
Perhaps this resonates with you. Maybe you worry about everything that enters your mouth, are in a perpetual cycle of yo-yo dieting or find yourself in trance like binge eating episodes. Maybe you battle with these thoughts on a daily basis.
You may be puzzled to learn that body image does not automatically improve for those who lose weight, if they have not attended to negative feelings about their appearance. Often there is an initial high, but then things normalise, people stop commenting and a lower number on the scale is required to be able to feel ok about themselves.
One thing we know is that body shame and disordered eating are so intrinsically tied together. It becomes implausible to truly free your mind and move forward and create everlasting change if both are not addressed.
Working on your mindset is critical. By learning to consciously observe your inner experiences without judgement is an important step. Recognising that your experiences are inner events – just thoughts and feelings rather than being evidence of the truth. If you begin to observe your habits and routines, you might be surprised to find just how much poor body image has impacted the way you lead your life.
If you are struggling with your eating and body image , don’t battle with it alone.
It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.
I work with people just like you, who need a new approach to transition to a balanced approach to eating and reclaim their life
Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.