If you're caught in the relentless cycle of dieting, restriction, bingeing or emotional eating and battling with your body, there's a fundamental question that holds the power to ignite change in your life. There follows a set of questions that go deeper than your immediate ‘wants’ and taps into the core of why you really want to create change.
Why do you want to create change?
When I first ask this question, the answers often revolve around familiar themes: "I want to lose weight," "I want to be healthy," or "I want to lose weight to become healthier." But what I really want to understand is, "Why do you want to lose weight?"
When you peel away the layers of your motivations and delve deeper, you will be able to uncover your more profound and authentic why. The surface-level motivations may include wanting to fit into a certain dress size or to please societal expectations, but the true motivations that drive us to change usually go far beyond the number on the scales.
Discovering Your Real ‘Why’
Is it about your health?
If health is what you are seeking it is possible for many people to improve their wellbeing without shrinking their body. Healthful behaviours such as eating in a balanced way, improving sleep, reducing stress and gently moving your body will all help to create physiological change within the body without the need to shed pounds. Contrary to popular belief, being in a smaller body doesn't automatically equate to better health. I have worked with many individuals in lower BMI ranges who profoundly struggle with their health. Many of them experience exhaustion, low mood and a range of health issues, including hormonal imbalances, skin problems, digestive issues, and thinning hair, among others.
Happiness?
Many people ultimately seek change because they believe it will make them happier. They hope that by shedding pounds, they'll find contentment. But, just think back for a moment: have you ever been slimmer than you are now? Were you happier then? For some, the answer is no. It was never about the weight; it was about finding happiness.
What Else Was Happening?
If you think back to a time when you were in a smaller body, and you believed you were happier, what else was going on in your life then? Did you have a great job, loads of energy, or a thriving relationship? Often, it's these factors, not the weight itself, that contributed to you feeling good about yourself.
Your authentic motivations?
Consider what you genuinely want in life. Is it happiness, calmness and liberty around food, boundless energy, a sense of worthiness, freedom from judgment, or the mental space to pursue your passions? If so, that is your true ‘why’
Re-evaluating your eating behaviour
Armed with this understanding, you might question whether dieting, control, and restriction align with what you truly want. Will they lead you to your authentic why, or are there more effective ways to achieve what you really want?
And while you question this always bear in mind, without changing anything, there won't be any change to your outcome
Are you ready to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?