Habits are formed through repetition. When you repeatedly turn to an unhelpful habit to manage your emotions, it becomes deeply ingrained and challenging to break free from. As humans, we tend to resist change and prefer to stick with what's familiar because change is uncomfortable for us. However, we often become motivated to create change, when staying the same starts to become more distressing than the discomfort of making the change.
As it's Mental Health Awareness Week, I’m discussing how we form destructive behaviour patterns and steps we can take to start to dismantle them.
When coping with emotional pain such as grief, loneliness, anxiety or overwhelm, we look for something to sooth our pain. Food is often used as a comfort and this is a normal human behaviour. However, when food becomes your sole reliance for coping (or if you are restricting it for a sense of control), it poses a problem.
If you're grappling with your relationship with food, mental health, or both, it's essential to recognise that these coping habits will have developed over time because they served a purpose. In the past, they helped you navigate through emotional experiences. Back then, these behaviours were all you had to cope with those challenges.
We tend to repeat behaviours that have proven effective in the past, and over time, these patterns become automatic and embedded. However, somewhere along the way, these patterns may have become painful or challenging for you. It's critical to first understand their origin and, with a self-compassionate approach, accept them for what they were. It’s important to remember, that using food to sooth doesn't make you a bad person, a failure, or any of the self-critical labels you might apply to yourself. Once you've gained that understanding, you can begin to unravel what's keeping this pattern or habit in place.
It's possible that turning to (or restricting) food feels like the only way you know how to deal with your emotions. Maybe you haven't discovered any other strategies for coping with them yet.
Furthermore, these habits often provide immediate relief from distressing emotions an escape from reality and provide temporary solace. Have you thought about what might be more helpful for you?
Here are some useful steps:
1. Identify the habit: Notice the specific behaviour with curiosity (rather than judgment) What triggers it? what would you routinely do and when does it typically occur?
2. Notice when it is happening in the moment – awareness is key. Again, without judgement, notice your automatic response to the trigger and kindly give yourself a moment to pause and take some deep breaths.
3. Observe bodily sensations, feelings and thoughts- Accept that you are having an emotional experience and notice any physical signs such as your heart beating faster, sweating. Continue to take deep breaths.
4. Proceed with an alternative more helpful next step. This is different for everyone – it might be a body scan, guided relaxation, Epsom salt bath, listening to your favourite music or taking a walk.
5. Keep practicing – avoid fretting if you don’t catch yourself every time. Creating a new automatic habit takes practice and repetition.
Doing things to help lift your mood including balanced eating, making time for sleep and movement can all help you with emotional resilience. Take a look at my Mood breakthrough guide to help you take some first steps towards this.
You can download this HERE.