Can you truly accept your body while still wanting to change it?

‘If I accept my body, then it means I’m giving up on myself’

This is an all-too-common sentiment when it comes to discussing body acceptance.

This notion reflects a common fear that embracing your body implies you will lack the motivation for looking after yourself.

This perspective fuels the idea that your self-worth is dependent meeting unrealistic body standards.

However, working towards body acceptance can be a profound act of self-empowerment, challenging the idea that your value is determined solely by your appearance.

What is body acceptance?

Body acceptance is about embracing your body as it is while acknowledging that you may have areas you want to change. It's about treating yourself with respect and care, fostering a positive inner dialogue, and letting go of shame. It is not about striving to be perfect.

A Different Perspective

Consider viewing your body as your partner, as you journey through life. Would your real-life partner or children only deserve your compassion and respect if they were perfect? Shouldn't they be deserving of compassion regardless? Accepting your body follows the same principle.

Contrary to popular misconceptions perpetuated by diet culture, body acceptance is not giving up on yourself, your health and your body. Instead, it is the start of the journey of reconnecting with your body from a place of compassion and not fear or hate and helps to remove the self-judgment that keeps you stuck.

To begin this journey ask yourself the following questions:

1. Why do I want to change my body? Be honest about why you want to change it. Write your thoughts down.

 2. Are these thoughts coming from a place of compassion, self-loathing or fear? Examine each thought individually and make a note.

A fear-based thought could be I want to lose weight because my husband won’t love me

A compassion-based thought could be I want to lose weight to be in less pain  

 3. Ask yourself if each individual thought is actually true? Do these beliefs hold up under scrutiny. How would you respond if a loved one expressed similar thoughts?

Recognise that attempting to punish yourself into change through self-hatred is unsustainable and doesn’t work. True transformation comes from a foundation of self-compassion and acceptance. By embracing your body with kindness and understanding, you’ll pave the way for genuine healing. You are inherently deserving of love, respect, and acceptance—just as you are.

Navigating the complexities of emotional and disordered eating requires a multifaceted approach—one that prioritises mental and emotional well-being alongside physical health. Reach out for support HERE if you would like to book in a complimentary call to find out how I can help.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Overcoming Emotional Eating: 3 Common Mistakes People Make

Emotional eating is essentially eating food in response to emotional triggers rather than your physiological hunger cues. It can involve eating to numb or suppress uncomfortable feelings or seeking comfort through food. It often occurs impulsively and can lead to overeating or binge eating. Navigating this eating behaviour can be tricky, and many fall into common traps when trying to overcome it.

The three common mistakes people make:

1. Thinking Emotional Eating Is Always a Bad Thing

Emotional eating is a behaviour that’s deeply ingrained in human nature and contrary to popular belief, isn’t inherently negative. During celebrations we might eat delicious cake when we’re not hungry. Perhaps because it’s a happy event, to be sociable and connect with others.

However, it's important to recognise when emotional eating becomes problematic. This happens when these eating patterns become your primary coping mechanism or lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Instead of berating yourself for turning to food for comfort, it's important to embrace self-compassion. By understanding that seeking comfort through food is a natural human instinct, you can shift away from negative self-judgment that keeps you stuck in the never-ending cycle of guilt and shame.

2. Falling into All-or-Nothing Thinking

"All or nothing" thinking is a cognitive distortion that can exacerbate emotional eating patterns. This mindset categorises behaviours as either entirely good or entirely bad, leaving no room for flexibility. For instance, you might think, I've already eaten something I shouldn’t have, so I might as well just continue

Breaking free from this loop involves challenging the black-and-white thinking and adopting a more balanced approach to eating and self-care. Your relationship with food is a life long journey but one that gets easier as you collect the required tools and strategies along the way.

Rather than viewing food choices as moral judgments, it's critical to work on self-awareness and mindfulness around your eating habits. This includes recognising triggers for emotional eating events and developing alternative coping strategies.

3. Turning to Dieting as a Solution

For many people, the instinctual response to an emotional eating episode is to start a new diet. However, this approach often backfires, exacerbating the very issues it aims to solve. Dieting commonly fuels feelings of deprivation, leading to intensified cravings and an unhealthy preoccupation with food.

Rather than viewing dieting as a solution to emotional eating, think about what might have led to the eating behaviour. Were you sad, lonely, angry, premenstrual, tired or sleep deprived? Did you experience a body image situation, have a disagreement, or notice a recurring source of distress? Become curious without offering up self-judgement and you may be amazed at the transformative power it holds.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Is the fear of weight gain stopping you from healing your relationship with food?

One formidable hurdle often stands in the way of making peace with food and your body – the fear of gaining weight. This fear is deeply ingrained, fuelled by societal norms, diet culture, and a pervasive belief that thinness equates to worthiness. But what if you challenged this fear? What if you dared to redefine health and happiness beyond the constraints of the scale?

The problem is that even if life feels all consuming, distressing, and these behaviours encroach on various aspects of your being, you still might feel conflicted about letting go because of the uncertainty that change will bring. The fear often stems from a nagging question about what might happen to your body if you abandon these familiar patterns. Diet culture, with its relentless pursuit of thinness, has normalised this fear, making it seem like the only acceptable goal is to be thinner.

Whether you struggle with chronic dieting, binge eating, bulimia, or emotional eating, it’s likely that your strict food rules and dieting behaviours have given you a sense of control. However, the longer they persist, its important to ask yourself if they are truly serving you now.

In order to move forward and overcome your fear its important to consider the following:

1. Understand Where your Fear has Come From

To overcome the fear of weight gain, it’s critical acknowledge its roots. Whether it stemmed from your childhood; perhaps you were made to feel unworthy because you weren’t the ideal body size? Perhaps comments were made at school, or your body felt different to others because you went through puberty early? Maybe the influence of social media, or the pervasive messages of diet culture have allowed these fears to take hold, dictating your choices and diminishing your self-worth.

2. Fixation on Weight Loss at What Cost?

Are you missing out on vital aspects of your life? It could be the lack of social connections with friends and family, or perhaps you're unable to share meals with your children, impacting your relationship. Maybe you find yourself with no headspace to focus on meaningful aspects of life that bring you purpose, joy, and fulfilment.

3. Reframe your Perspective

Challenge the notion that all weight gain is bad and all weight loss is good. Instead, focus on behaviours that promote overall health and fulfilment. This means reconnecting with our core values and remembering the things you loved about yourself and your life before weight loss became the priority. Many people’s unintentional weight loss is due to health issues- they may have an eating disorder or a chronic illness. For others gaining weight is a positive thing to help with hormone function, menstrual cycle regularity and, energy, vitality and health.

4. Embrace the Uncertainty

Life is inherently uncertain, and change can be uncomfortable. But by embracing the unknown and surrendering the need for all the answers, you can open yourself up to new possibilities. Yes, the journey may be challenging, but pushing through discomfort is where your growth begins.

5. Challenge Your Internal Dialogue

Challenge your inner voice that constantly equates your worth to your appearance. Your value, ability to be loved and worthiness are not dependent on the number on the scale. Instead, they are rooted in your experiences, relationships, and the joy you find in life. Talk to your self with compassion and kindness as you would with someone you care about.

Overcoming the fear of weight gain may be challenging, but it's also a journey toward reclaiming your health, happiness, and autonomy. By confronting outdated societal norms, reconnecting with your values, and embracing the uncertainty of change, you can free yourself from the shackles of diet culture and discover a more fulfilling way of living.

Do you long for a happy relationship with food, but are feeling lost on where to begin? Grab my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food, to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

All or Nothing Mindset? Here’s How to Break Free

I help many women who are desperate to break free from dieting, having spent years or decades trapped in the cycle – exhausted by the headspace it consumes and misery it brings. They feel overwhelmed and confused not knowing how to eat without being on a diet and worry about what will become of their weight.

Many of my clients are overly restrictive with many fears and rules around food. Some find themselves binge eating or feeling out of control around foods. Others may be compelled to exercise excessively.

ALL OR NOTHING THINKING LIES AT THE HEART

All or nothing thinking lies at the heart of all of these distressing challenges and the inner dialogue is often 24/7. It is a negative thinking pattern often experienced by those struggling with their relationship with food and their body.

Often termed as dichotomous or black-and-white thinking, this mindset involves viewing situations in extremes. It leads to attempts at restricting foods perceived as bad for health or weight. For most people this is unsustainable and often results in bingeing or emotionally eating the very same ‘forbidden’ foods.

The cycle goes like this; Eat the perceived ‘bad’ food, and automatic thoughts that follow are I’ve eaten really badly, I’m a bad person, I’m greedy, I have no willpower, I’ve blown it again. I need to start again tomorrow/ next week/ on Monday and so on.

Anxiety is often coupled with these thoughts. This may lead to skipping meals or severely restricting caloric intake. It may lead to a bout of punishing exercise to make up for ‘falling off the wagon’.

WHERE TO START

1. Adding in 

If this is something you recognise with the way you approach your food, try removing the moralistic value from the foods. Yes, some foods are more helpful for our health than others but it is ok to have all types of foods some of the time.  Instead, focus instead on quality, nourishing foods you can add in to your diet. These will help you to feel better, lift your mood and stop punishing yourself.

2.  Cognitive reframing

This is a technique based on shifting your perception of a situation. This can help you transform your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Begin by recognising the unhelpful thought and ask what else you can say to yourself that would be more helpful.

For example:

Situation: Binge eat a pack of biscuits

Thought:  I failed again

Reframe: I notice that I’m thinking I’ve failed because I had a binge, slipping up is part of the process, I am learning how to manage this

Or this is a learning experience

 3.  Challenge your thoughts

To help with reframing, begin to question the validity of the thought

Ask yourself Is this really true? How strongly do I believe that it is? What is the evidence to support it? What is the evidence against it? It’s important to note that thoughts are not facts; they are just your mind's way of interpreting and processing information. Recognising this distinction empowers you to challenge and reshape your thoughts, leading to a more balanced perspective.

 4. Visualise your journey

 I help my clients to change their perspective by approaching this work as a journey and this is something you can do too. I encourage them to envision themselves embarking on a cycle ride. Along the way, they will encounter obstacles and setbacks—falling off the bike now and then is both normal and expected. Importantly, these setbacks don't signify a return to square one. Instead, they learn to recognise setbacks as part of the process, dust themselves off, and get back on their bike, to continue forward on their journey. 

Do you long for a happy relationship with food, but are feeling lost on where to begin? Grab my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food, to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Unmasking Your Binge Triggers

Have you ever thought about the emotions, experiences, and life situations that trigger your emotional eating? From boredom to stress, sadness to loneliness, or the ever-lingering anxiety, these triggers can lead us to seek comfort from food. A gruelling day at work often leaves us craving a reward for making it through, and that's where emotional eating can come in.

For many, food has become a coping mechanism, a temporary relief from life's challenges. However, it's a fleeting escape that rarely brings lasting comfort. More often than not, the aftermath leads to shame, guilt, and self-loathing - far from the reward you were seeking.

Think about it – when faced with a hard day, a packet of biscuits becomes the automatic response. But what if, beneath the surface, what you truly need is a way to de-stress, find stimulation, or simply get some rest?

This survival mechanism often turns into an ingrained habit, one that's developed from early childhood – were you ever given a treat to sooth you as a child? With the prevalence of dieting behaviours you are likely to have become disconnected from your body, making it all the more harder to know if you are eating for hunger or something quite different.

When working with clients, one of my goals is to guide them towards more helpful ways of feeling better by focusing on self-care and non-food-related rewards. Often, they do not feel worthy of doing positive things for themselves – is this the same for you?

It can be an empowering exercise to reassess your behaviours in a non-judgemental way – and helpful to make a note of them. Ask yourself – is this truly serving me? Is it time to explore what does?

Next week I'll delve into the steps you can take once you have identified your triggers

Do you long to have a happy relationship with food, but don’t know where to start? Download my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with FoodFood, to begin your journey

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

5 Ways to Improve Your Self-Worth

Do you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others?

Maybe you question your worthiness based on your appearance, weight or shape?

Cultivating self-worth is not an overnight process. It's a cumulative effort, and sometimes, the smallest steps make the biggest impact. Accept that you are not perfect, and that's perfectly okay. This is an ongoing, active practice that involves embracing your imperfections without judgment.

Improving your self- worth is perhaps the most powerful thing you can do when it comes to overcoming emotional, binge and disordered eating behaviours.

Here are some practical steps to get you started:

1.       Nourish Yourself First: Prioritise nourishing yourself in all aspects of life – not just food. Take time for rest, engage in self-care, and meet your emotional needs. Neglecting yourself can lead to feeling resentful, tired, and overwhelmed. By putting your well-being first, you'll be better equipped to care for others.

2.       Set Boundaries and Prioritise Self-Respect: Respect from others begins with self-respect. Let others know that your needs matter, and it's okay to prioritise yourself. Establishing boundaries is critical; it's like building a fence around your home. Say no when necessary and set clear rules for others to understand how to respect you.

3.       Trust that you are the expert of yourself: Don't let others dictate who you are or what you should be doing. Trust yourself and let go of old identities that no longer serve you – especially those tied to dieting or societal expectations.

4.       Define Meaningful Goals: Focus on goals that truly matter to you. Consider what brings happiness to your life in the present moment. By aligning with your purpose, you not only foster your self-worth but also create a sense of fulfilment that goes beyond physical appearance or external validation.

5.       Recognise Your Value: You are more than just your body. Reflect on the qualities and values that define you as a person. Ask yourself and those close to you: What do they value in you beyond your physical appearance? Why do they enjoy spending time with you? Make a list and add something to it daily.

Take one step today – no matter how small – towards growing your self-worth. Whether it's setting a boundary, prioritising self-care, or acknowledging your achievements, each positive action contributes to the foundation of a healthier relationship with food, your body and yourself.

Do you long to have a happy relationship with food, but don’t know where to start? Download my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with FoodFood, to begin your journey

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

What triggers your emotional eating?

Have you ever thought about the emotions, experiences, and life situations that trigger your emotional eating? From boredom to stress, sadness to loneliness, or the ever-lingering anxiety, these triggers can lead us to seek comfort from food. A gruelling day at work often leaves us craving a reward for making it through, and that's where emotional eating can come in.

For many, food has become a coping mechanism, a temporary relief from life's challenges. However, it's a fleeting escape that rarely brings lasting comfort. More often than not, the aftermath leads to shame, guilt, and self-loathing - far from the reward you were seeking.

Think about it – when faced with a hard day, a packet of biscuits becomes the automatic response. But what if, beneath the surface, what you truly need is a way to de-stress, find stimulation, or simply get some rest?

This survival mechanism often turns into an ingrained habit, one that's developed from early childhood – were you ever given a treat to sooth you as a child? With the prevalence of dieting behaviours you are likely to have become disconnected from your body, making it all the more harder to know if you are eating for hunger or something quite different.

When working with clients, one of my goals is to guide them towards more helpful ways of feeling better by focusing on self-care and non-food-related rewards. Often, they do not feel worthy of doing positive things for themselves – is this the same for you?

It can be an empowering exercise to reassess your behaviours in a non-judgemental way and ask yourself – is this truly serving me? Is it time to explore what does? Take a moment to identify activities that can become a part of your daily life. What brings you joy? What makes you feel good? How can you relax and de-stress?

This needs to be individual to you, but here are some examples to consider:

🎵 Immerse yourself in calming music

🧘‍♂️Dedicate a few minutes to yoga or Pilates

🚶‍♀️ Take a gentle walk in peaceful surroundings

📰 Enjoy some quality time with a favourite magazine

🌿 Find tranquillity by sitting quietly in the garden

🛁 Indulge in a soothing bath

📞 Connect with a good friend over the phone

🧘‍♀️ Take 10 minutes for peaceful relaxation

Use this as an opportunity to improve the quality of your life and build in new ways of feeling joy and enriching your experience of life.

THE SIMPLE STEPS TO TAKE:

1️⃣ Recognise when you are turning to food as an emotional crutch.

2️⃣ Seek out alternative ways to make yourself feel good. (That do not involve food)

3️⃣ Try out the new choices - see what resonates with you.

4️⃣ Adjust and adapt until you find a helpful solution.

5️⃣ Keep practicing until it becomes second nature. You might find you don’t always manage - this isn’t about berating yourself. Instead observe without judgment what might have happened and try again next time.

Ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and making peace with food? Start by downloading my FREE guide, 'Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food.' This invaluable resource will help you:

This structured 4 step guide is an essential resource for anyone who suffers from emotional or disordered eating.

In this guide you’ll learn how to: 

✔️Understand the best way to structure your eating routine

✔️Develop a better understanding of your body’s appetite cues 

✔️Navigate snacking to help you reduce cravings and feel satiated

✔️Use the journaling pages (included) to gain a deeper understanding of your eating behaviour, thoughts and emotions 

Also included: 

✔️My free appetite tool 

✔️My free journaling pages

✔️Snack ideas

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, as she is a victim of diet culture’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

My clients find that simply replying to any comments with ‘Thank you’ and then changing the subject can be extremely effective and empowering.

Alternatively you may want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Ready to break free from unhelpful coping behaviours?

Habits are formed through repetition. When you repeatedly turn to an unhelpful habit to manage your emotions, it becomes deeply ingrained and challenging to break free from. As humans, we tend to resist change and prefer to stick with what's familiar because change is uncomfortable for us. However, we often become motivated to create change, when staying the same starts to become more distressing than the discomfort of making the change.

As it's Mental Health Awareness Week, I’m discussing how we form destructive behaviour patterns and steps we can take to start to dismantle them.

When coping with emotional pain such as grief, loneliness, anxiety or overwhelm, we look for something to sooth our pain. Food is often used as a comfort and this is a normal human behaviour. However, when food becomes your sole reliance for coping (or if you are restricting it for a sense of control), it poses a problem.

If you're grappling with your relationship with food, mental health, or both, it's essential to recognise that these coping habits will have developed over time because they served a purpose. In the past, they helped you navigate through emotional experiences. Back then, these behaviours were all you had to cope with those challenges.

We tend to repeat behaviours that have proven effective in the past, and over time, these patterns become automatic and embedded. However, somewhere along the way, these patterns may have become painful or challenging for you. It's critical to first understand their origin and, with a self-compassionate approach, accept them for what they were. It’s important to remember, that using food to sooth doesn't make you a bad person, a failure, or any of the self-critical labels you might apply to yourself. Once you've gained that understanding, you can begin to unravel what's keeping this pattern or habit in place.

It's possible that turning to (or restricting) food feels like the only way you know how to deal with your emotions. Maybe you haven't discovered any other strategies for coping with them yet.

Furthermore, these habits often provide immediate relief from distressing emotions an escape from reality and provide temporary solace. Have you thought about what might be more helpful for you?

Here are some useful steps:

1. Identify the habit: Notice the specific behaviour with curiosity (rather than judgment) What triggers it? what would you routinely do and when does it typically occur?

2. Notice when it is happening in the moment – awareness is key. Again, without judgement, notice your automatic response to the trigger and kindly give yourself a moment to pause and take some deep breaths.

3. Observe bodily sensations, feelings and thoughts- Accept that you are having an emotional experience and notice any physical signs such as your heart beating faster, sweating. Continue to take deep breaths.

4. Proceed with an alternative more helpful next step. This is different for everyone – it might be a body scan, guided relaxation, Epsom salt bath, listening to your favourite music or taking a walk.

5. Keep practicing – avoid fretting if you don’t catch yourself every time. Creating a new automatic habit takes practice and repetition.

Doing things to help lift your mood including balanced eating, making time for sleep and movement can all help you with emotional resilience. Take a look at my Mood breakthrough guide to help you take some first steps towards this.

You can download this HERE.

Emotional eater? Here’s why dieting is not the answer

As someone who works with women who consider themselves to be emotional eaters, I’m asked this question ALL the time. But what defines an emotional eater? And will dieting stop it in it’s tracks?

To some extent we all emotionally eat. During celebrations we might eat some delicious cake when we’re not hungry. Perhaps because it’s a happy event, to be social, connect with people, take joy from the whole experience. It might not have been a conscious decision to eat the cake.

Often, emotional eating isn’t a problem that needs solving. Sometimes we do eat for comfort when we are feeling sad, angry stressed or alone. It is a coping mechanism we can turn to for a sense of solace. Comfort is after all defined as ‘a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint’.

However, emotional eating can be complex. When it becomes our ONLY mechanism for soothing ourselves, and leads to anxiety, obsession, and overwhelm, emotional eating is no longer our friend.

The difficulties occur when it becomes a never-ending cycle, channelling feelings of guilt and shame. Often ‘all or nothing’ thinking is at the heart of this cycle - ever said to yourself “I’ve blown it today so I may as well just carry on”?

Many women battle with this for years of their life and repeatedly turn to dieting to put a stop to it. If this resonates – let me ask you this, is dieting the solution to your emotional eating or the solution to the feelings of contempt you have for your own body?

The problem is that dieting (AKA food restriction) often plays a role in emotional eating or bingeing. The scientific literature explains that there are several complex mechanisms and research is still ongoing. Put simply we know that dieting often leads to food obsession, hunger and intense cravings. Perhaps you are burdened with those relentless thoughts 24/7, that hijack your headspace on a daily basis? Dieting is not the solution but the fuel to the fire.

SO WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

• Learning to be able to clear your head of diet thinking and cultivate a new mindset; giving yourself the permission to eat what you love without feeling out of control.

• Learning to eat in a way that helps you to feel satisfied so that you no longer have cravings

• Learning to reconnect with your body and know when to start and stop eating

• Learning to acknowledge your emotions, not push them away and find other, more helpful coping mechanisms.

AND WHERE CAN YOU START? 

If perpetual dieting has left you in a muddle about food and eating, and you feel overwhelmed anxious and confused about what, how much and when to eat then have a read of my free resource ‘What the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know’

You can download this HERE to support you on your journey to dismantle your diet mindset and begin the process of breaking free from dieting, binge eating or emotional eating.

Body image and dieting – why changing your mindset is more effective than changing your body

If you are unhappy with your appearance, weight or body shape the likelihood is that you’ve spent years trying to work out how to change it.

Perhaps you have been jumping from diet to diet, over exercising or have even considered surgery.

Every year millions of women diet in order to change their body. In fact at least 50% of adult women are on some kind of weight loss regime at any given time, in order to help themselves feel better about it.

For many people I work with, this has literally hijacked their life – 24 /7 thoughts about food, their weight or shape– so there’s no room for anything else.

Is this the same for you?

If this is impacting your life, I wonder if you would consider the possibility that changing the way you think about your body is the solution as opposed to the relentless focus on physically shrinking it?

Yo-yo dieting – where weight is lost and regained in a never-ending cycle, has a significant negative impact on body image. A study was conducted with 88 larger bodied women who lost an average of 23 kilos following a weight loss diet. Their body image initially improved. However, when they had regained only an average of 2 kilos a few months later, their body image deteriorated significantly. And we know that weight regain is expected in up to 95% of participants following any weight loss diet.

Yo-yo dieting of course impacts health in many ways – check out my past blog – The hidden costs of yo-yo dieting for more info on this.

If you are a compulsive dieter, it’s first important to reflect on what your motivation is for dieting. Is it for physical health and wellbeing? Or to appear more ‘attractive’ – a fat phobic fear that you will be judged for not achieving the thin body ideal. Perhaps you don’t feel like you fit in or are worthy of love and respect?

Of course, looking after your body is important for your physical and mental health but it is extremely difficult to do so consistently if you despise it.

It is a myth that losing weight is the only way to feel good about your body. By learning to respect it you will be far more likely to look after it in a sustainable way.

This is why when clients who have been dieting for years, want to improve their health, we need to move the focus away from weight loss.

Yes- this can feel scary at first.

But with the right support it is possible to move forward.

Once you begin to see and feel the true benefits – your motivation and confidence will grow. This is when I see many clients loosing excess weight as a side effect of the changes they make – it is no longer their focus but becomes possible as they begin to think differently about their body and themselves.

I’d love to guide you on that journey

If you are struggling with disordered eating and your body image, you are constantly on and off diets, or find yourself craving sugar, emotional eating or bingeing, please reach out for support.

Book in a complimentary call to see how I can help you begin your journey to food freedom and transform your life 

Bored or reward- what triggers your emotional eating?

Emotional eating triggers are often complex. Perhaps you’re bored, stressed, sad, lonely or anxious. Commonly having a hard day at work can lead to that need to reward yourself for getting through it.

For many, emotional eating has become a coping mechanism – a relief, distraction or escape. Yet it seldom brings comfort- the benefit is mostly short lived. And commonly feelings of shame guilt and self-loathing follow – not the reward you were looking for.

Eating a packet of biscuits is often the automatic response rather than working out what you really need. This might be to de-stress, find stimulation or get some rest. Mostly this survival mechanism has become a habit. Chances are, you have been conditioned to reward yourself with food, often from early childhood. And many of us are almost completely out of touch with our own bodies –which is what makes it so challenging.

When working with clients, the aim is to build in more appropriate ways of making yourself feel better by prioritising self-care and turning to non-food related rewards instead. We all deserve and need time to do positive things for ourselves - without feelings of guilt. 

It can be a really empowering exercise to take a look at what you might normally do to reward yourself and think, are these helpful or do I need to replace them. And then spend some time to identify some activities that you can build into your daily life.

What would you like to spend more time doing? 

What would make you feel good?

What would help you relax or de-stress?

Here are a few examples:

·         Listening to calming music

·         A few minutes of yoga/ pilates

·         A gentle walk in peaceful surroundings

·         Reading a favourite magazine

·         Sitting quietly in the garden

·         A soak in the bath

·         Phoning a good friend

·         10 minutes of quiet relaxation

Use this as an opportunity to improve the quality of your life and build in new ways of feeling joy and enriching your experience of life. 

The simple steps to take:

1.    Identify when you are using food as a reward or to make yourself feel better.

2.    Choose a few alternative things you can do instead to make yourself feel good (that do not involve food).

3.    Try out the new choices - see what works well for you.

4.    If something doesn’t work, change it or add to it until you find the right solution.

5.    Keep practising it until it becomes automatic. You might find you don’t always manage - this isn’t about berating yourself. Instead observe without judgment what might have happened and try again next time.

FREE DAILY SUPPORT 

If you are you struggling with your eating and your relationship with food + your body, head over to The Food Freedom Collective free group, for daily support and weekly live videos to tackle your challenges

If any of these resonate then this community is for you :

💠You are on and off diets all the time

💠You find yourself binge eating

💠You are an ‘emotional eater’

💠You restrict food in order to lose weight

💠 You can’t stop thinking about your weight, appearance or food

💠 You feel overwhelmed and confused no longer knowing what you ‘should’ eat

Body or head hunger?

Understanding you hunger is a key component to overcoming emotional eating. It’s essential work for my clients -often something they have never really thought about.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

Physical, bodily hunger can be identified when you feel the sensation in your body – often your stomach. Perhaps it’s a hollow feeling, or light headedness. Your stomach sends this message to your brain and you will feel it whether or not you see or smell food.

Head hunger however, is affected by external cues. For example, you may walk past a bakery. You can see and smell freshly baked pastries and then think – I’ve really got to buy some of that. There are no physical symptoms – it may be the pure fact that you’ve seen it and it looks good. It may habitual (ie you pass the same bakery every day and it has become your default behaviour to stop off and buy the pastry on your way home. Or you may be feeling sad, stressed, anxious, fed up or angry and think – that is exactly what I need to make me feel better.

If what you are experiencing is in fact head hunger– this isn’t a sign of weakness or something to fear. It is very often a signal that we have an unmet need. Learning to understand these signals with self-compassion is a key part of the process of creating positive change.

And what if you feel true bodily hunger all the time?

If your hunger is real and you experience it all the time, this is also something to embrace. It is your body’s way of telling you it needs nourishment.

Many of the women I work with have experienced intense hunger after they finish their meal. Often this is purely because they have not been allowing themselves to eat enough, following a self-imposed rule of how much they 'should' be eating.

Many of my clients express disbelief when they realise what a difference it makes to eat three balanced meals a day and give themself permission to have more if required. Following this they no longer needed to snack or binge in the evenings and are able to enjoy their eating experience.

What if you just don’t know?

We are all born to innately respond to hunger, fullness and satiety. Think of how babies and toddlers eat when they are hungry and push food away spit it out or throw it on the floor when they are not. They instinctively know. Sadly, over time this skill becomes eroded by the influence of our environment, mass media and diet culture -Have you ever been on a diet that focuses on your hunger and satiety?!

The good news is that this skill can be relearned. It takes work and focus to start listening to your body to then be able to trust and respond to it. But it can be achieved. I have seen my clients change the way they think about food and eating, liberate their mind and make incredible life transformations.

FREE DAILY SUPPORT 

If you are you struggling with your eating and your relationship with food + your body, head over to The Food Freedom Collective free group, for daily support and weekly live videos to tackle your challenges

If any of these resonate then this community is for you :

💠You are on and off diets all the time

💠You find yourself binge eating

💠You are an ‘emotional eater’

💠You restrict food in order to lose weight

💠 You can’t stop thinking about your weight, appearance or food

💠 You feel overwhelmed and confused no longer knowing what you ‘should’ eat

Why stress affects how we ingest our food

Part of the work I do with my clients is to teach and support them in eating to regulate their blood sugar (glucose) levels. This helps to optimise energy, improve sleep, regulate fat storage and reduce cravings. However, the crucial work alongside this, consists of the mindset work; coaching to shift the feelings of guilt and shame, when they do eat the foods that are less helpful for blood sugar control.

We know that harmful thoughts about ourselves and the food we are eating lead to feelings that trigger the stress response. The stress hormone cortisol is released from the adrenal glands and leads to the liver producing more glucose. Some of this glucose is converted to energy (to be able to react to a threat quickly) But if we don’t need to use this energy, as the perceived threat is in fact a harmful thought, much of this glucose will be stored in our fat cells.

A remarkable study published recently illustrated just how our thoughts can have a physical impact on our physiology. In this study two groups of people were observed, drinking the same drink with the same amount of sugar. One group knew they were consuming a drink containing 15 grams of sugar, and the other group believed they were consuming a sugar free drink.

The outcome was fascinating. The group who knew they were drinking a sugary drink had a greater increase in blood sugar levels than the group who believed they were drinking a sugar free drink, illustrating how our perception alone is enough to impact our body’s physiological responses.

So, where the diet and fitness industry would have you believe that it’s all about counting calories and restriction, I beg to differ. Focusing on the where, why and how within a framework of coaching, cognitive work and solid evidence-based nutritional science is where it’s at.

If you are stuck in a diet mindset, have realised that dieting and restriction doesn’t work for you and want to understand why, then take a look at my free download - ‘What the diet Industry doesn’t want you to know’. Using evidenced based weight science research, it exposes the biggest weight loss myths and will help you discover the truth about dieting

Why calories on menus are harmful + won’t solve your weight worries

A few weeks ago, it became compulsory for large chain restaurants, cafes and takeaways to print calorie labels on menus.  In order to help us make ‘healthier’ choices and solve the ‘obesity crisis’.

However, there is little evidence that the government will achieve its goals. Large chains in the US have been required to print calories on menus since 2018, and this is proving to do little for their ‘obesity crisis’. The problem is that this directive is not only flawed, but it  creates many more problems.

For many of my clients, who battle with eating disorders/ disordered eating, the idea of enjoying a meal out with friends creates a great deal of anxiety. They know their calorie intake when preparing their own food but, in a restaurant, feel a lack of control. Much of the work we do is helping them to rewire their thinking around calories and food. Seeing calories on menus is extremely triggering- a reminder that they must chose the lowest calorie option, creating added stress and fuelling their eating disorder behaviour.

The reality is that for most people weight loss is not just about knowing what choices to make….

The government may claim that this new strategy will be a game changer, for people struggling with their weight. But the reality is that for most people weight loss is not just about knowing what choices to make. Weight science is complex – it is far more than creating a deficit between calories in and calories out.

This policy ignores many of the underlying problems when it comes to the nation’s health. Instead of solving the country’s health inequalities, it places the ‘blame firmly with the individual – i.e ‘it’s up to you to make the right choice’

When we rely on the calories in calories out theory, we are ignoring the fact that each of us is unique with complicated regulatory systems, our own health history and genetics. This involves a complex interaction between hormones, brain chemicals, the gut ecosystem, energy requirements, fuel source availability, genes and hundreds of other variables, all interconnecting.

Food is so much more than calories…

We are also neglecting the fact that every calorie behaves differently within the body as food is so much more than calories. Food is information for the body that changes our genetic expression. It consists of macro nutrients (carbohydrates, protein and fats), micronutrients (minerals and vitamins), phytonutrients and enzymes which all interplay with our biology in so many ways.

And of course, for many people food is used as a coping mechanism. Providing people with the misconception that low calorie equates to healthy food is an unhelpful falsehood. If emotional eating or bingeing is involved, guilting folks to feel bad about what they’re eating is just going to add fuel to the fire.

If you think calories on menus are going to negatively impact your eating behaviour, there are a few things to consider:

• Choose to eat in smaller independent outlets as they are not required to follow the new legislation.

• Request a menu without calories (Outlets are not legally required to provide them, but some will have them available.)

• Remember, you do not need to compensate for what you’ve eaten when out, before or after the meal.

• Set yourself a time limit for how long you spend looking at the menu.

• If you can’t decide what to eat, you could order what your friends or family are having.

A focus on calories, takes away the enjoyment from food and eating, when eating out should be a pleasurable experience. What will you do to keep it that way?

If you are stuck in a diet mindset, have realised that dieting and restriction doesn’t work for you and want to understand why, then take a look at my free download - ‘What the diet Industry doesn’t want you to know’. Using evidenced based weight science research, it exposes the biggest weight loss myths and why you have been trapped in the relentless dieting cycle.

Overeat or binge towards the end of the day? [video enclosed]

Do you find yourself skipping meals or eating little earlier in the day only to find yourself bingeing or overeating in the afternoon or evening? This comes up all the time with my clients so when a member of The Food Freedom Collective asked me what she could do about it, I decided to do a short live video in the group.

I have shared the video for you below 

Please do come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, for free HERE 

It’s a Facebook community supporting women to break free from binge eating, emotional eating and yo-yo dieting and I do live videos in the group every week.

Would you love to be able to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food? Click the button below to join.

Trapped in the diet cycle? Why 'all or nothing' thinking keeps you stuck

I help many women who are desperate to break free from dieting, having spent years or decades trapped in the cycle – exhausted by the headspace it consumes and misery it brings. They feel overwhelmed and confused not knowing how to eat without being on a diet and worry about what will become of their weight.

Many of my clients are overly restrictive with many fears and rules around food. Some find themselves binge eating or feeling out of control around foods. Others may be compelled to exercise excessively.

'ALL OR NOTHING' THINKING LIES AT THE HEART.....

All or nothing thinking lies at the heart of all of these distressing challenges and the inner dialogue is often 24/7.

This dichotomous thinking leads to attempts at restricting foods perceived as bad for their health or their weight. For most people this is unsustainable and often results in binging or emotionally eating the very same ‘forbidden’ foods.

The cycle goes like this; Eat the perceived ‘bad’ food, and automatic thoughts that follow are I’ve eaten really badly, I’m a bad person, I’m greedy, I have no willpower, I’ve blown it again. I need to start again tomorrow/ next week/ on Monday and so on.

Anxiety is often coupled with these thoughts. This may lead to skipping meals or severely restricting caloric intake. It may lead to a bout of punishing exercise to make up for ‘falling off the wagon’.

WHERE TO START...

If this is something you recognise with the way you approach your food, try removing the moralistic value from the foods. Yes, some foods are more helpful for our health than others but it is ok to have all types of foods some of the time.

Instead, focus instead on quality, nourishing foods you can add in to your diet. These will help you to feel better, lift your mood and stop punishing yourself.

When working with my clients we often work on visualising this work as a journey. I ask my clients to picture themselves on a cycle ride. Yes, they will hit bumps in the road. They may come off the bike every now and then – and that is normal and expected but that doesn’t take them back to the beginning of their journey. They just need to dust themselves off, get back on the bike and continue on.

If this s something you struggle with don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.
I work with people just like you, who need a new approach  so they can reclaim their life.

Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.

Please also come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, FREE Facebook community- a safe place where you can feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I do live videos in the group each week to discuss a new topic to support you on your journey and I share, food ideas, motivation and supportive practices daily – it’s free to join!

Would you love to be able to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food? Click the button below to join.

Bingeing + emotional eating; why key nutrients play a role

Many of my clients battle with emotional eating and bingeing - unbeknownst to them, common nutrient deficiencies may well be part of the picture. A recent study has confirmed what I regularly see in clinic; It is extremely common for women of all ages in the UK to have insufficient (if not deficient) levels of a number of key nutrients.

We must consume the relevant raw materials in order to produce the brain chemicals that play a significant role in appetite and hunger. Deficiencies in magnesium, selenium, zinc and vitamin D may be contributing to the picture and can be remedied with a well-balanced diet.

Furthermore, we require protein from our diet to obtain essential amino acids which are the building blocks of brain chemicals such as serotonin (the feel-good neurotransmitter) and dopamine which lies at the heart of our brain’s reward centre. Vegetarians and particularly vegans may be lacking in specific amino acids which are created when protein from our diet is broken down, digested and absorbed.

The good news…

The good news is that this can be addressed this by correcting any deficiencies and blood sugar levels to help with sugar cravings. But we cannot only focus on the ‘what’ you’re eating, eating psychology, appetite and mindset work play an important role. I have had the pleasure of working with hundreds of women using my integrated approach with transformative results.

If you are struggling with your eating, don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.
I work with people just like you, who need a new approach to transition to a balanced approach to eating and live life to the fullest!

Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.

Please also come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, FREE Facebook community- a safe place where you can feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I do live videos in the group each week to discuss a new topic to support you on your journey and I share, food ideas, motivation and supportive practices daily – it’s free to join!

Would you love to be able to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food? Click the button below to join.

Ending her daily struggle with food; Kelly’s story

I consider it both an honour and a blessing to do the work that I do. Working with women who are at war with their food and themselves - whether it be the result of chronic dieting, emotional eating or a diagnosed eating disorder, is so rewarding. It’s when my clients are able to acknowledge their breakthroughs and discuss their lightbulb moments- that the magic truly happens!

Kelly was no different – struggling with bulimia on her own – feeling too ashamed to open up, even to those closest to her. I am delighted to say that she put the work in and made amazing progress – She no longer binges and purges and has a much healthier and robust relationship with food. She is now able to enjoy her food and at the same time nourish her body with what it needs.

THIS IS WHAT KELLY HAD TO SAY ABOUT HER RECOVERY EXPERIENCE:

"I came to Marcelle about my eating disorder, after suffering on and off for around 6 years. My biggest challenge was actually seeking the help as it was something that I thought I could deal with alone; especially as I hadn’t told any members of my friends or family.

At first, I was a little apprehensive about seeking help from Marcelle as I wasn’t sure what could actually be done about my disorder, as it’s not something a lot of people talk about and you never hear about any other success stories. I was also relatively nervous around divulging with someone about my disorder as it was something that I was seriously embarrassed about it.

Marcelle was so lovely and helpful from the off. She was very understanding of my situation and was able to give me advice that helped me from the beginning.

Marcelle was able to help me change my perspective and guide me through each step of the process. She has provided me with methods that I will always be able to implement both now and in the future if I need it.

I would just like to thank Marcelle again for the help that she’s provided and would highly recommend her services. Seeking her help is something I will never regret."

If you are struggling with your eating, don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life. I work with people just like you, who need a new approach to transition to a balanced approach to eating and live life to the fullest!

Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.

Please also come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I do live videos in the group each week to discuss a new topic to support you on your journey and I share, food ideas, motivation and supportive practices daily – it’s free to join!

Why eating ‘addictive’ foods, doesn’t make you a junk food addict

Ever stopped at one Pringle?

Find it hard to eat only half a KitKat?

Perhaps the temptation of a whole Dairy Milk is just too strong?!

Like many processed foods, many crisps, chocolate bars and biscuits contain a combination of carbohydrates, the unhelpful fats, sugar and often salt that affect our brain-reward circuitry. They overpower our appetite signals that tell us when we’re full. These foods have been coined hyper-palatable foods, by researchers studying their powerful effects.

Most processed foods commonly consumed in Europe and the US, meet the hyper-palatable food criteria. This was defined and accepted in 2019 by researcher’s who came up with specific quantities and proportions within processed foods that have the ability to affect our brain chemistry in this way.

WELL DESIGNED FORMULAS TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT WE EAT

Professor Fazzino and his team conducted a study that found that food companies have well designed formulas for foods to increase the amount we eat. The scientists believe they can activate our brain neuro-circuits in a similar way to cocaine. The researchers also discovered that these foods may have the ability to overcome our satiety and fullness signals that tell us when to stop eating.

The same study found that 49% of foods labelled low or reduced sugar, fat or salt also met the criteria. Understandably it feels almost impossible for most to navigate the food isles and avoid these brain-hacking food products.

Most people I work with to overcome compulsive and emotional eating feel guilty and blame themselves, they feel society blames them for having no will power, failing at diets and not being ‘good’ enough. However, the battle is so much more complex than having will power. The addictive nature of these foods is one of the many components making it so hard.

If this is something you struggle with, it’s important to acknowledge firstly that you are not alone but also that just because you find these foods addictive (as they have been designed to be), it doesn’t mean that you are a sugar or junk food addict. It is possible to learn how to eat these foods as part of a balanced diet without feeling out of control around them.

Sometimes addressing this alone is too great a challenge to undertake -especially if you have years of chronic dieting, bingeing or emotional eating behind you. 

I work with people just like you, who need a new approach so they are able to live life to the fullest. Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help

Please also come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- supporting women to ditch dieting, beat binge eating and make peace with their food and their body. I do live videos in the group each week to discuss a new topic to support you on your journey and I share, food ideas, motivation and support – it’s free to join!