Overcoming Emotional Eating: 3 Common Mistakes People Make

Emotional eating is essentially eating food in response to emotional triggers rather than your physiological hunger cues. It can involve eating to numb or suppress uncomfortable feelings or seeking comfort through food. It often occurs impulsively and can lead to overeating or binge eating. Navigating this eating behaviour can be tricky, and many fall into common traps when trying to overcome it.

The three common mistakes people make:

1. Thinking Emotional Eating Is Always a Bad Thing

Emotional eating is a behaviour that’s deeply ingrained in human nature and contrary to popular belief, isn’t inherently negative. During celebrations we might eat delicious cake when we’re not hungry. Perhaps because it’s a happy event, to be sociable and connect with others.

However, it's important to recognise when emotional eating becomes problematic. This happens when these eating patterns become your primary coping mechanism or lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Instead of berating yourself for turning to food for comfort, it's important to embrace self-compassion. By understanding that seeking comfort through food is a natural human instinct, you can shift away from negative self-judgment that keeps you stuck in the never-ending cycle of guilt and shame.

2. Falling into All-or-Nothing Thinking

"All or nothing" thinking is a cognitive distortion that can exacerbate emotional eating patterns. This mindset categorises behaviours as either entirely good or entirely bad, leaving no room for flexibility. For instance, you might think, I've already eaten something I shouldn’t have, so I might as well just continue

Breaking free from this loop involves challenging the black-and-white thinking and adopting a more balanced approach to eating and self-care. Your relationship with food is a life long journey but one that gets easier as you collect the required tools and strategies along the way.

Rather than viewing food choices as moral judgments, it's critical to work on self-awareness and mindfulness around your eating habits. This includes recognising triggers for emotional eating events and developing alternative coping strategies.

3. Turning to Dieting as a Solution

For many people, the instinctual response to an emotional eating episode is to start a new diet. However, this approach often backfires, exacerbating the very issues it aims to solve. Dieting commonly fuels feelings of deprivation, leading to intensified cravings and an unhealthy preoccupation with food.

Rather than viewing dieting as a solution to emotional eating, think about what might have led to the eating behaviour. Were you sad, lonely, angry, premenstrual, tired or sleep deprived? Did you experience a body image situation, have a disagreement, or notice a recurring source of distress? Become curious without offering up self-judgement and you may be amazed at the transformative power it holds.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

All or Nothing Mindset? Here’s How to Break Free

I help many women who are desperate to break free from dieting, having spent years or decades trapped in the cycle – exhausted by the headspace it consumes and misery it brings. They feel overwhelmed and confused not knowing how to eat without being on a diet and worry about what will become of their weight.

Many of my clients are overly restrictive with many fears and rules around food. Some find themselves binge eating or feeling out of control around foods. Others may be compelled to exercise excessively.

ALL OR NOTHING THINKING LIES AT THE HEART

All or nothing thinking lies at the heart of all of these distressing challenges and the inner dialogue is often 24/7. It is a negative thinking pattern often experienced by those struggling with their relationship with food and their body.

Often termed as dichotomous or black-and-white thinking, this mindset involves viewing situations in extremes. It leads to attempts at restricting foods perceived as bad for health or weight. For most people this is unsustainable and often results in bingeing or emotionally eating the very same ‘forbidden’ foods.

The cycle goes like this; Eat the perceived ‘bad’ food, and automatic thoughts that follow are I’ve eaten really badly, I’m a bad person, I’m greedy, I have no willpower, I’ve blown it again. I need to start again tomorrow/ next week/ on Monday and so on.

Anxiety is often coupled with these thoughts. This may lead to skipping meals or severely restricting caloric intake. It may lead to a bout of punishing exercise to make up for ‘falling off the wagon’.

WHERE TO START

1. Adding in 

If this is something you recognise with the way you approach your food, try removing the moralistic value from the foods. Yes, some foods are more helpful for our health than others but it is ok to have all types of foods some of the time.  Instead, focus instead on quality, nourishing foods you can add in to your diet. These will help you to feel better, lift your mood and stop punishing yourself.

2.  Cognitive reframing

This is a technique based on shifting your perception of a situation. This can help you transform your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Begin by recognising the unhelpful thought and ask what else you can say to yourself that would be more helpful.

For example:

Situation: Binge eat a pack of biscuits

Thought:  I failed again

Reframe: I notice that I’m thinking I’ve failed because I had a binge, slipping up is part of the process, I am learning how to manage this

Or this is a learning experience

 3.  Challenge your thoughts

To help with reframing, begin to question the validity of the thought

Ask yourself Is this really true? How strongly do I believe that it is? What is the evidence to support it? What is the evidence against it? It’s important to note that thoughts are not facts; they are just your mind's way of interpreting and processing information. Recognising this distinction empowers you to challenge and reshape your thoughts, leading to a more balanced perspective.

 4. Visualise your journey

 I help my clients to change their perspective by approaching this work as a journey and this is something you can do too. I encourage them to envision themselves embarking on a cycle ride. Along the way, they will encounter obstacles and setbacks—falling off the bike now and then is both normal and expected. Importantly, these setbacks don't signify a return to square one. Instead, they learn to recognise setbacks as part of the process, dust themselves off, and get back on their bike, to continue forward on their journey. 

Do you long for a happy relationship with food, but are feeling lost on where to begin? Grab my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food, to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Unmasking Your Binge Triggers

Have you ever thought about the emotions, experiences, and life situations that trigger your emotional eating? From boredom to stress, sadness to loneliness, or the ever-lingering anxiety, these triggers can lead us to seek comfort from food. A gruelling day at work often leaves us craving a reward for making it through, and that's where emotional eating can come in.

For many, food has become a coping mechanism, a temporary relief from life's challenges. However, it's a fleeting escape that rarely brings lasting comfort. More often than not, the aftermath leads to shame, guilt, and self-loathing - far from the reward you were seeking.

Think about it – when faced with a hard day, a packet of biscuits becomes the automatic response. But what if, beneath the surface, what you truly need is a way to de-stress, find stimulation, or simply get some rest?

This survival mechanism often turns into an ingrained habit, one that's developed from early childhood – were you ever given a treat to sooth you as a child? With the prevalence of dieting behaviours you are likely to have become disconnected from your body, making it all the more harder to know if you are eating for hunger or something quite different.

When working with clients, one of my goals is to guide them towards more helpful ways of feeling better by focusing on self-care and non-food-related rewards. Often, they do not feel worthy of doing positive things for themselves – is this the same for you?

It can be an empowering exercise to reassess your behaviours in a non-judgemental way – and helpful to make a note of them. Ask yourself – is this truly serving me? Is it time to explore what does?

Next week I'll delve into the steps you can take once you have identified your triggers

Do you long to have a happy relationship with food, but don’t know where to start? Download my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with FoodFood, to begin your journey

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

What triggers your emotional eating?

Have you ever thought about the emotions, experiences, and life situations that trigger your emotional eating? From boredom to stress, sadness to loneliness, or the ever-lingering anxiety, these triggers can lead us to seek comfort from food. A gruelling day at work often leaves us craving a reward for making it through, and that's where emotional eating can come in.

For many, food has become a coping mechanism, a temporary relief from life's challenges. However, it's a fleeting escape that rarely brings lasting comfort. More often than not, the aftermath leads to shame, guilt, and self-loathing - far from the reward you were seeking.

Think about it – when faced with a hard day, a packet of biscuits becomes the automatic response. But what if, beneath the surface, what you truly need is a way to de-stress, find stimulation, or simply get some rest?

This survival mechanism often turns into an ingrained habit, one that's developed from early childhood – were you ever given a treat to sooth you as a child? With the prevalence of dieting behaviours you are likely to have become disconnected from your body, making it all the more harder to know if you are eating for hunger or something quite different.

When working with clients, one of my goals is to guide them towards more helpful ways of feeling better by focusing on self-care and non-food-related rewards. Often, they do not feel worthy of doing positive things for themselves – is this the same for you?

It can be an empowering exercise to reassess your behaviours in a non-judgemental way and ask yourself – is this truly serving me? Is it time to explore what does? Take a moment to identify activities that can become a part of your daily life. What brings you joy? What makes you feel good? How can you relax and de-stress?

This needs to be individual to you, but here are some examples to consider:

🎵 Immerse yourself in calming music

🧘‍♂️Dedicate a few minutes to yoga or Pilates

🚶‍♀️ Take a gentle walk in peaceful surroundings

📰 Enjoy some quality time with a favourite magazine

🌿 Find tranquillity by sitting quietly in the garden

🛁 Indulge in a soothing bath

📞 Connect with a good friend over the phone

🧘‍♀️ Take 10 minutes for peaceful relaxation

Use this as an opportunity to improve the quality of your life and build in new ways of feeling joy and enriching your experience of life.

THE SIMPLE STEPS TO TAKE:

1️⃣ Recognise when you are turning to food as an emotional crutch.

2️⃣ Seek out alternative ways to make yourself feel good. (That do not involve food)

3️⃣ Try out the new choices - see what resonates with you.

4️⃣ Adjust and adapt until you find a helpful solution.

5️⃣ Keep practicing until it becomes second nature. You might find you don’t always manage - this isn’t about berating yourself. Instead observe without judgment what might have happened and try again next time.

Ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and making peace with food? Start by downloading my FREE guide, 'Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food.' This invaluable resource will help you:

This structured 4 step guide is an essential resource for anyone who suffers from emotional or disordered eating.

In this guide you’ll learn how to: 

✔️Understand the best way to structure your eating routine

✔️Develop a better understanding of your body’s appetite cues 

✔️Navigate snacking to help you reduce cravings and feel satiated

✔️Use the journaling pages (included) to gain a deeper understanding of your eating behaviour, thoughts and emotions 

Also included: 

✔️My free appetite tool 

✔️My free journaling pages

✔️Snack ideas

Ready to break free from unhelpful coping behaviours?

Habits are formed through repetition. When you repeatedly turn to an unhelpful habit to manage your emotions, it becomes deeply ingrained and challenging to break free from. As humans, we tend to resist change and prefer to stick with what's familiar because change is uncomfortable for us. However, we often become motivated to create change, when staying the same starts to become more distressing than the discomfort of making the change.

As it's Mental Health Awareness Week, I’m discussing how we form destructive behaviour patterns and steps we can take to start to dismantle them.

When coping with emotional pain such as grief, loneliness, anxiety or overwhelm, we look for something to sooth our pain. Food is often used as a comfort and this is a normal human behaviour. However, when food becomes your sole reliance for coping (or if you are restricting it for a sense of control), it poses a problem.

If you're grappling with your relationship with food, mental health, or both, it's essential to recognise that these coping habits will have developed over time because they served a purpose. In the past, they helped you navigate through emotional experiences. Back then, these behaviours were all you had to cope with those challenges.

We tend to repeat behaviours that have proven effective in the past, and over time, these patterns become automatic and embedded. However, somewhere along the way, these patterns may have become painful or challenging for you. It's critical to first understand their origin and, with a self-compassionate approach, accept them for what they were. It’s important to remember, that using food to sooth doesn't make you a bad person, a failure, or any of the self-critical labels you might apply to yourself. Once you've gained that understanding, you can begin to unravel what's keeping this pattern or habit in place.

It's possible that turning to (or restricting) food feels like the only way you know how to deal with your emotions. Maybe you haven't discovered any other strategies for coping with them yet.

Furthermore, these habits often provide immediate relief from distressing emotions an escape from reality and provide temporary solace. Have you thought about what might be more helpful for you?

Here are some useful steps:

1. Identify the habit: Notice the specific behaviour with curiosity (rather than judgment) What triggers it? what would you routinely do and when does it typically occur?

2. Notice when it is happening in the moment – awareness is key. Again, without judgement, notice your automatic response to the trigger and kindly give yourself a moment to pause and take some deep breaths.

3. Observe bodily sensations, feelings and thoughts- Accept that you are having an emotional experience and notice any physical signs such as your heart beating faster, sweating. Continue to take deep breaths.

4. Proceed with an alternative more helpful next step. This is different for everyone – it might be a body scan, guided relaxation, Epsom salt bath, listening to your favourite music or taking a walk.

5. Keep practicing – avoid fretting if you don’t catch yourself every time. Creating a new automatic habit takes practice and repetition.

Doing things to help lift your mood including balanced eating, making time for sleep and movement can all help you with emotional resilience. Take a look at my Mood breakthrough guide to help you take some first steps towards this.

You can download this HERE.

Emotional eater? Here’s why dieting is not the answer

As someone who works with women who consider themselves to be emotional eaters, I’m asked this question ALL the time. But what defines an emotional eater? And will dieting stop it in it’s tracks?

To some extent we all emotionally eat. During celebrations we might eat some delicious cake when we’re not hungry. Perhaps because it’s a happy event, to be social, connect with people, take joy from the whole experience. It might not have been a conscious decision to eat the cake.

Often, emotional eating isn’t a problem that needs solving. Sometimes we do eat for comfort when we are feeling sad, angry stressed or alone. It is a coping mechanism we can turn to for a sense of solace. Comfort is after all defined as ‘a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint’.

However, emotional eating can be complex. When it becomes our ONLY mechanism for soothing ourselves, and leads to anxiety, obsession, and overwhelm, emotional eating is no longer our friend.

The difficulties occur when it becomes a never-ending cycle, channelling feelings of guilt and shame. Often ‘all or nothing’ thinking is at the heart of this cycle - ever said to yourself “I’ve blown it today so I may as well just carry on”?

Many women battle with this for years of their life and repeatedly turn to dieting to put a stop to it. If this resonates – let me ask you this, is dieting the solution to your emotional eating or the solution to the feelings of contempt you have for your own body?

The problem is that dieting (AKA food restriction) often plays a role in emotional eating or bingeing. The scientific literature explains that there are several complex mechanisms and research is still ongoing. Put simply we know that dieting often leads to food obsession, hunger and intense cravings. Perhaps you are burdened with those relentless thoughts 24/7, that hijack your headspace on a daily basis? Dieting is not the solution but the fuel to the fire.

SO WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

• Learning to be able to clear your head of diet thinking and cultivate a new mindset; giving yourself the permission to eat what you love without feeling out of control.

• Learning to eat in a way that helps you to feel satisfied so that you no longer have cravings

• Learning to reconnect with your body and know when to start and stop eating

• Learning to acknowledge your emotions, not push them away and find other, more helpful coping mechanisms.

AND WHERE CAN YOU START? 

If perpetual dieting has left you in a muddle about food and eating, and you feel overwhelmed anxious and confused about what, how much and when to eat then have a read of my free resource ‘What the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know’

You can download this HERE to support you on your journey to dismantle your diet mindset and begin the process of breaking free from dieting, binge eating or emotional eating.

Bored or reward- what triggers your emotional eating?

Emotional eating triggers are often complex. Perhaps you’re bored, stressed, sad, lonely or anxious. Commonly having a hard day at work can lead to that need to reward yourself for getting through it.

For many, emotional eating has become a coping mechanism – a relief, distraction or escape. Yet it seldom brings comfort- the benefit is mostly short lived. And commonly feelings of shame guilt and self-loathing follow – not the reward you were looking for.

Eating a packet of biscuits is often the automatic response rather than working out what you really need. This might be to de-stress, find stimulation or get some rest. Mostly this survival mechanism has become a habit. Chances are, you have been conditioned to reward yourself with food, often from early childhood. And many of us are almost completely out of touch with our own bodies –which is what makes it so challenging.

When working with clients, the aim is to build in more appropriate ways of making yourself feel better by prioritising self-care and turning to non-food related rewards instead. We all deserve and need time to do positive things for ourselves - without feelings of guilt. 

It can be a really empowering exercise to take a look at what you might normally do to reward yourself and think, are these helpful or do I need to replace them. And then spend some time to identify some activities that you can build into your daily life.

What would you like to spend more time doing? 

What would make you feel good?

What would help you relax or de-stress?

Here are a few examples:

·         Listening to calming music

·         A few minutes of yoga/ pilates

·         A gentle walk in peaceful surroundings

·         Reading a favourite magazine

·         Sitting quietly in the garden

·         A soak in the bath

·         Phoning a good friend

·         10 minutes of quiet relaxation

Use this as an opportunity to improve the quality of your life and build in new ways of feeling joy and enriching your experience of life. 

The simple steps to take:

1.    Identify when you are using food as a reward or to make yourself feel better.

2.    Choose a few alternative things you can do instead to make yourself feel good (that do not involve food).

3.    Try out the new choices - see what works well for you.

4.    If something doesn’t work, change it or add to it until you find the right solution.

5.    Keep practising it until it becomes automatic. You might find you don’t always manage - this isn’t about berating yourself. Instead observe without judgment what might have happened and try again next time.

FREE DAILY SUPPORT 

If you are you struggling with your eating and your relationship with food + your body, head over to The Food Freedom Collective free group, for daily support and weekly live videos to tackle your challenges

If any of these resonate then this community is for you :

💠You are on and off diets all the time

💠You find yourself binge eating

💠You are an ‘emotional eater’

💠You restrict food in order to lose weight

💠 You can’t stop thinking about your weight, appearance or food

💠 You feel overwhelmed and confused no longer knowing what you ‘should’ eat

Easy nutrient packed snack recipe to satiate your sweet cravings!

Snacks. This is something that throws many of the women I work with off balance

Their thought sequence goes something like this…..

I need something sweet

What can I have instead?

I shouldn’t be snacking – I won’t have anything

I will just have half of something

I shouldn’t have gone back for more

Now I feel really bad – why did I do that?

And though we work on shifting mindset around lifting restriction on forbidden foods to help reduce their ‘power’, there is usually much more to be addressed

But what if you could make a quick sweet, tasty snack that gratifies that urge whist simultaneously helped to keep your sugar cravings at bay?

Well, I have the very thing for you. These chocolate chia bites are packed with protein, natural fats and fibre and will help to regulate your blood sugar and keep you satiated. Here’s the recipe:

Chocolate Chia Bites 

Ingredients

·         1  cup ground almond

·         3 tablespoons pure maple syrup ( this can be adjusted for sweetness)

·         1 cup desiccated coconut

·         ½ cup melted coconut oil

·          ¼ cup chia seeds

·         2 teaspoons vanilla essence

·         2 tablespoons cacau powder

Method

1.      In a food processor, combine coconut oil, ground almonds, coconut,  maple syrup, chia seeds cacao and vanilla essence

2.      Line a small tray and press down the mixture so it is flat and compact 

3.      Put in the freezer for 10 minutes to allow it to set

4.      Then remove from the tin and slice into squares

5.      This can be stored in a container in the fridge or freezer

If you are feeling particularly decadent, you could drizzle some melted dark chocolate over the top before cutting into pieces

I would love to hear what you think of this recipe- just hit reply and let me know!

If you are someone constantly battles with what you think you ‘should’ be eating, finds yourself on a diet rollercoaster or perhaps struggles with emotional eating or bingeing, there is a way to free your body and mind from the endless misery it brings.

Introducing foods that will support your physiology is just one piece of puzzle alongside building a healthy mindset, eating psychology and appetite and satiety reconnection to name a few.

I have worked with hundreds of clients who have found themselves fighting this daily battle and I’m working on an exciting new short foundation programme to help you transition to a calm, balanced and joyous approach to eating

***KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR MORE NEWS ON THIS COMING VERY SOON

P.S. Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation, supportive practices and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

Emotional eating: 5 simple steps to manage your triggers

Most people emotionally eat from time to time but difficulties can occur when this becomes your habitual default. Using food as a coping mechanism, perhaps to numb your feelings or provide some comfort is likely to impact your mental and physical wellbeing in the long term. Often the initial feeling of relief, comfort or pleasure that you receive from the reward centre in your brain, turns quite quickly to feelings of guilt and shame. This affects how you feel about yourself, your confidence and self-worth. Keeping you stuck in a never-ending cycle.

Triggers develop as part of our survival response. However, when we are emotionally triggered and don’t recognise it, we can engage in many unhelpful behaviours that just keep us stuck in a relentless pattern. A difficult conversation or situation, seeing a particular person or being in a specific place may all be potential triggers.

If for example, you are always triggered by a family member (perhaps because of the way they always speak to you) and it makes you feel anxious, angry or upset. At this point you feel the urge to eat chocolate because you have trained your brain to react in this way. You have accessed memories from the past and your automatic reaction maybe I can’t deal with this – I need to eat the chocolate.

Helping people to overcome emotional eating is my mission and is the foundation of the work that I do with clients. I feel it’s important to share this 5-step process that can be used for ANY emotional trigger that leads to emotional eating.

5 STEPS TO MANAGING EMOTIONAL EATING TRIGGERS:

1)      Notice that you are being triggered and pause –and connect with your body take some deep breaths. Notice that when you breath into your belly properly it will expand and will then contract as you breath out.

2)      Recognise you are having an emotional reaction. Become aware of the physical sensations that this reaction brings to your body. Perhaps you notice tension in your tummy, your heart is beating faster, or you might be holding your breath. When you notice your common physical reaction, this can help you to respond in a different way.

3)      Give yourself time to observe what is going on in your brain and your body. Ask yourself ‘What am I really feeling? Avoid judging your emotions as good or bad and allow yourself to feel the emotion even if it is uncomfortable.

4)      Question what story are you telling yourself - is it true really? Notice the thoughts causing these feelings. This may not come straight away – perhaps leave the room or even go for a walk.

5)      Decide how you want to respond. By now you will have observed the trigger that led to your emotional response. You may have come to realise that your reaction was out of proportion or you have created a story that wasn’t even true. Now is the time to claim the power and chose your story with your rational thinking brain. You can choose to think of the situation differently. What will you tell yourself that will be more helpful?

If the emotional trigger is something that cannot be avoided, you will be able to put a plan into place before you next encounter it. With practice, your old automatic reaction will subside and you will find it easier to choose how to respond. The key to this is repetition.

If you stuck in a cycle of emotional eating, bingeing or yo-yo dieting and need to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food, come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community. This is a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I share tips, simple recipe, meal, and snack ideas along with strategies, motivation and supportive practices within the group and its FREE to join!

It’s time to release yourself from the shackles of diet culture + empower yourself to create positive change in your life.