I help many women who are desperate to break free from dieting, having spent years or decades trapped in the cycle – exhausted by the headspace it consumes and misery it brings. They feel overwhelmed and confused not knowing how to eat without being on a diet and worry about what will become of their weight.
Many of my clients are overly restrictive with many fears and rules around food. Some find themselves binge eating or feeling out of control around foods. Others may be compelled to exercise excessively.
'ALL OR NOTHING' THINKING LIES AT THE HEART.....
All or nothing thinking lies at the heart of all of these distressing challenges and the inner dialogue is often 24/7.
This dichotomous thinking leads to attempts at restricting foods perceived as bad for their health or their weight. For most people this is unsustainable and often results in binging or emotionally eating the very same ‘forbidden’ foods.
The cycle goes like this; Eat the perceived ‘bad’ food, and automatic thoughts that follow are I’ve eaten really badly, I’m a bad person, I’m greedy, I have no willpower, I’ve blown it again. I need to start again tomorrow/ next week/ on Monday and so on.
Anxiety is often coupled with these thoughts. This may lead to skipping meals or severely restricting caloric intake. It may lead to a bout of punishing exercise to make up for ‘falling off the wagon’.
WHERE TO START...
If this is something you recognise with the way you approach your food, try removing the moralistic value from the foods. Yes, some foods are more helpful for our health than others but it is ok to have all types of foods some of the time.
Instead, focus instead on quality, nourishing foods you can add in to your diet. These will help you to feel better, lift your mood and stop punishing yourself.
When working with my clients we often work on visualising this work as a journey. I ask my clients to picture themselves on a cycle ride. Yes, they will hit bumps in the road. They may come off the bike every now and then – and that is normal and expected but that doesn’t take them back to the beginning of their journey. They just need to dust themselves off, get back on the bike and continue on.