Decoding Your Relationship with Food: 8 Tell-Tale Signs

Do you view yourself as a normal eater? It's possible that your eating habits have become so ingrained that they feel normal to you, even if there might be underlying issues. You may not have identified as a disordered eater, as many of the signs are accepted as normal with in our culture.

Often, I’m approached by people seeking help for weight loss when they are struggling with problematic eating behaviours that need to be addressed. Focusing on weight loss

So, what sets apart normal eating from disordered eating or eating disorders? It’s Eating Disorder Awareness Week so I’m shining a light on the differences of something that is often complex and misunderstood.

ARE YOU A DISORDERED EATER? 

You do not need to have all the signs to suffer with disordered eating. Here are 8 signs that you may be: 

1.      You restrict your food, be it counting calories, avoiding food groups, or engaging in severe dieting

2.      You experience some bingeing episodes (but do not meet diagnostic criteria for Binge Eating Disorder)

3.      You find yourself excessively exercising in order to change your body size

4.      You sometimes vomit after eating (self -induced)

5.      You use laxatives or diet pills in order to change your body size.

6.      You experience a degree of body image distortion

7.      You make judgments about yourself and your value based on your body size, weight or shape

8.      You are persistently preoccupied with food, dieting, eating and your body

The path of disordered eating may be a precursor to an eating disorder. Both are on a continuum, making it easy for someone with disordered eating to transition into eating disorder territory. Individuals might also cycle through various eating disorders in their lifetime.

The eating disorder charity BEAT estimates that 1.25 million people are currently suffering from an eating disorder in the UK. This is only the only the tip of the iceberg representing those who have been officially diagnosed. Many others remain undiagnosed, so the figure is likely to be higher.

Eating disorders are not limited to a specific demographic; they can affect individuals of any background, ethnicity, gender, age, or body size. Contrary to the common misconception, someone need not be underweight in order to have an eating disorder.

WHAT DOES A BALANCED RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND BODY LOOK LIKE?

· You exercise for fun and health

· You have a good body image – accept it without trying too hard to change it, or evaluate it

· Your overall eating patterns are balanced (perhaps you miss the odd meal or occasionally overeat)

· You do not obsess over food, eating, diets or your body

· You might emotionally eat sometimes- but this is not your only coping mechanism and it does not cause you distress.

Do you long for a happy relationship with food, but are feeling lost on where to begin? Grab my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food, to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Why I have a problem with ‘What I eat in a day’ content

In today's age of social media, we're bombarded with influencers, celebrities, and so-called 'experts' sharing the details of their daily food intake. We're told to eat like them if we want to look like them, be as healthy as them, or achieve wellness as they have. While I’m always interested in food inspiration and recipe ideas, this narrative can be problematic for everyone, especially for young people growing up with the pervasive influence of social media or particularly if you struggle with your relationship with food and your body.

Famous celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston, Victoria Beckham, and Gwyneth Paltrow have openly shared their daily food routines, often emphasising that they never deviate from this plan. The message is clear - follow their lead, and you'll achieve the same results.

Similarly, social media often presents a small, carefully curated, and excessively filtered part of someone's life. We don't really know what their relationship with food is like, and what works for one person certainly doesn't work for all.

We are all unique individuals with our own health history, biochemistry, and genetics. Each body has different requirements when it comes to food intake, nutrients, and calories. Everyone has their own food history and relationship with their body.

SO what could it mean for those constantly absorbing these messages?

Social media platforms have become ubiquitous in our lives, and with them, the prevalence of 'What I Eat in a Day' posts has soared. These posts are considerably influential and affect our perceptions of food, body image, and well-being.

Myths and Misconceptions:

Social media creates an environment where we are exposed to curated, picture-perfect representations of others' lives, often with a focus on diet and exercise. This curated content can be misleading and detrimental, especially if you are already struggling with eating disorders or disordered eating. Many myths have become deeply held beliefs about food, portion sizes, and calorie intake. Unfortunately Many 'What I Eat in a Day' posts promote restrictive diets, which can be extremely harmful and contribute to disordered eating and eating disorders.

Creates Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame:

If you face the daily challenges of managing their relationship with food, these posts can exacerbate feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame. This content has the potential to trigger past trauma or reinforce negative thought patterns.

Low Self-esteem:

These posts often lead to questioning your own choices and self-worth, making you feel inadequate in comparison. This can spiral into a vicious cycle of low self-esteem and self-doubt. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing your eating habits, body, and lifestyle to those portrayed in these posts.

What Can You Do About It?

If you want to continue using social media, consider looking at the content you encounter with a critical eye. Think about who is posting this content and what they are trying to promote. If these things are triggering or driving unhelpful thinking about your eating and body, then block and unfollow them.

You can also work on creating a more helpful feed by following accounts from creators of all body sizes, ages, races, and genders who promote body neutrality, acceptance, and a non-diet approach or talk about eating disorder recovery.

Focus on what foods feel good in your body and what your body needs. If you need help with this, you can download a free guide like "Breaking the Cycle," which offers four actionable steps to improve your relationship with food and your body.

The key is to prioritise your own unique needs and well-being. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to food, and your relationship with your body is a personal journey that should not be dictated by online trends.

If you are struggling with your relationship with food right now, be sure to down load my free guide ‘Breaking the cycle – your first steps to healing your relationship with food.’

 This structured 4 step guide is an essential resource for anyone who suffers from emotional or disordered eating.

In this guide you’ll learn how to: 

✔️Understand the best way to structure your eating routine

✔️Develop a better understanding of your body’s appetite cues 

✔️Navigate snacking to help you reduce cravings and feel satiated

✔️Use the journaling pages (included) to gain a deeper understanding of your eating behaviour, thoughts and emotions 

Also included: 

✔️My free appetite tool 

✔️My free journaling pages

✔️Snack ideas

Navigating Food and Body Changes During the Perimenopause

Whether you've already entered the perimenopausal stage or it's still years down the road, it’s important to understand the factors that can influence your relationship with food and your body- especially if you have struggled with this in the past.

This is a time when women often find themselves in a whirlwind of changes, effecting both eating behaviour and body image. So, why does this happen during this transformative phase of life?

Stress and Coping

Picture this: perimenopause arrives, and suddenly, you're dealing with anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and a foggy mind. Life can start feeling a bit overwhelming, and it's not unusual for women to turn to food as a way to cope. Juggling the responsibilities of looking after aging parents, adjusting to "empty nest" syndrome, or going through a breakup can make things even more challenging.

Changeing body shape

During perimenopause, your body shape can go on an adventure of its own. The hormone oestrogen rollercoasters and then along with progesterone, declines , leading to that notorious weight gain around the middle. Metabolism slows down by about 15%, and conditions like Hashimoto's disease can add to the mix.

You might notice that what used to work in terms of diet and exercise doesn't quite cut it anymore, and that's when women will be driven to try unhelpful dietary restrictions such as calorie deficits, fasting, or food group eliminations.

Sleep Problems

As if that weren't enough, perimenopausal symptoms including night sweats and anxiety can wreak havoc on your sleep. It's not just about tossing and turning, though. Lack of sleep messes with your appetite and influences your food choices. Your fullness hormones, like leptin, take a nosedive, while the hunger-inducing hormone, ghrelin, goes into overdrive. This leaves you craving less-than-healthy foods. Plus, with less energy and increased stress, whipping up a balanced meal can feel like a huge overwhelming task.

Stress Hormones

Meet cortisol, one of your body's stress hormones. In small doses, it's your "fight or flight" helper. But when stress becomes a regular companion, it can lead to fatigue, anxiety, and craving sugary treats. Chronic stress even messes with insulin, making it harder for your body to process glucose, potentially leading to more weight gain.

Insulin and Appetite

Insulin, the blood glucose regulator, also has a say in your appetite. When insulin resistance creeps in (and it often does during menopause), it can't effectively reach your brain to tell you that you’re full. This can leave you feeling hungry and more prone to overeating.

Brain Chemistry and Cravings

As if that weren't enough, the spiking and then plummeting oestrogen levels during perimenopause can lead to lower levels of the mood-regulating brain chemicals dopamine and serotonin. The result? Powerful sugar cravings and a ramped-up appetite, sometimes leading to emotional eating and bingeing.

In a nutshell, menopause can throw some curveballs when it comes to food and body image. Understanding the reasons behind these changes is the first step to navigating this phase effectively.

If this is something you are struggling with right now, be sure to down load my free guide ‘Breaking the cycle – your first steps to healing your relationship with food.’

 This structured 4 step guide is an essential resource for anyone who suffers from emotional or disordered eating.

In this guide you’ll learn how to: 

✔️Understand the best way to structure your eating routine

✔️Develop a better understanding of your body’s appetite cues 

✔️Navigate snacking to help you reduce cravings and feel satiated

✔️Use the journaling pages (included) to gain a deeper understanding of your eating behaviour, thoughts and emotions 

Also included: 

✔️My free appetite tool 

✔️My free journaling pages

✔️Snack ideas

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, as she is a victim of diet culture’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

My clients find that simply replying to any comments with ‘Thank you’ and then changing the subject can be extremely effective and empowering.

Alternatively you may want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Is it possible to accept your body but still want to change it?

This week in my Facebook community, I explained the true meaning of body acceptance and talked through a simple exercise to help you find the relevant answer for you - we are complex beings and there is not a one-size-fits-all for this!

I have had some great feedback about this video training from some of the community members. so I thought I would share it with you. I will be continuing this conversation in my community this Monday. So if you're not already a member come and join us HERE. 

NB. If you are already inside the community, but don’t see my posts, please set your notifications to ‘all posts’ ( not ‘show highlights’) and you are less likely to miss helpful information.

*Catch up on the video below*

I record weekly live videos and provide daily motivation in the Food Freedom Collective community where you will be amongst like-minded women who get what you're going through.

Trapped in the diet cycle? Why 'all or nothing' thinking keeps you stuck

I help many women who are desperate to break free from dieting, having spent years or decades trapped in the cycle – exhausted by the headspace it consumes and misery it brings. They feel overwhelmed and confused not knowing how to eat without being on a diet and worry about what will become of their weight.

Many of my clients are overly restrictive with many fears and rules around food. Some find themselves binge eating or feeling out of control around foods. Others may be compelled to exercise excessively.

'ALL OR NOTHING' THINKING LIES AT THE HEART.....

All or nothing thinking lies at the heart of all of these distressing challenges and the inner dialogue is often 24/7.

This dichotomous thinking leads to attempts at restricting foods perceived as bad for their health or their weight. For most people this is unsustainable and often results in binging or emotionally eating the very same ‘forbidden’ foods.

The cycle goes like this; Eat the perceived ‘bad’ food, and automatic thoughts that follow are I’ve eaten really badly, I’m a bad person, I’m greedy, I have no willpower, I’ve blown it again. I need to start again tomorrow/ next week/ on Monday and so on.

Anxiety is often coupled with these thoughts. This may lead to skipping meals or severely restricting caloric intake. It may lead to a bout of punishing exercise to make up for ‘falling off the wagon’.

WHERE TO START...

If this is something you recognise with the way you approach your food, try removing the moralistic value from the foods. Yes, some foods are more helpful for our health than others but it is ok to have all types of foods some of the time.

Instead, focus instead on quality, nourishing foods you can add in to your diet. These will help you to feel better, lift your mood and stop punishing yourself.

When working with my clients we often work on visualising this work as a journey. I ask my clients to picture themselves on a cycle ride. Yes, they will hit bumps in the road. They may come off the bike every now and then – and that is normal and expected but that doesn’t take them back to the beginning of their journey. They just need to dust themselves off, get back on the bike and continue on.

If this s something you struggle with don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.
I work with people just like you, who need a new approach  so they can reclaim their life.

Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.

Please also come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, FREE Facebook community- a safe place where you can feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I do live videos in the group each week to discuss a new topic to support you on your journey and I share, food ideas, motivation and supportive practices daily – it’s free to join!

Would you love to be able to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food? Click the button below to join.

What would you give up to be the ‘perfect’ body size?

Almost 50% of women of all shapes and sizes said they would trade a year of their life rather than be over-weight when asked in a survey. And up to 30% said they would give up their partner, having children or become an alcoholic for the perfect body size. These alarming stats tell us how deeply ingrained weight stigma has rooted itself in our society.

How is it that for many women their body size, weight or shape has become the predominant means of measuring what they are worth? Why is it that the number on the scales has been prioritised by women over their mental, physical and emotional health?

But it’s the constant preoccupation of these thoughts and the resulting stress response in the body, that may actually be leading to weight gain in addition to an unhealthy relationship with food. This cycle will then just continue throughout their entire life.

I sometimes ask my clients to think about how they would want to be remembered, what their legacy will be. Would they be happy with ‘She managed to stay thin’ on their gravestone? Morbid I know, but it certainly makes them think.

 If you are a chronic dieter, have battles with binge eating or restrict your food, do you want to be thinking the same harmful thoughts in 20, 40 or 60 years’ time?

 Or are you ready to reclaim your life from the misery and struggle that this mindset brings?

 If you need some support with this don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.

This is the last chance to join my Undiet your Mind 21 day course. So for the cost of a just few takeaways, you can learn a new approach to eating so you can develop sustainable habits with confidence and let go of dieting for good.

 It’s starting tomorrow and enrolment ends tonight! Check out all the course info + enrol HERE

Alternatively Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help you with my signature one to one programmes.

Make peace with your body + build a happy relationship with food

Have you been on and off diets for years of your life?

Are you ‘in your head’ 24/7 worrying about what you will eat, what you have eaten, your weight or your shape?

Do you constantly compare yourself to others or avoid social situations because of how you feel about your body?

Perhaps you binge eat and feel out of control around food?

Maybe you turn to food as a way of coping when you feel stressed, frustrated or down?

Or could it be that you feel shame or judged by others?

.......you are not alone

In case you don’t know me, I’m Marcelle Rose, registered nutritionist, emotional eating coach + eating distress specialist.

I’m on a mission to help women make peace with their body and build a happy relationship with food so they can live their fullest life.

I would love you to come and join me in my Facebook community The Food Freedom Collective

Where you will find:

• Information surrounding the myths and misconceptions surrounding food and eating

• How to cut through the diet culture crap

• Mindset help and support

• Motivation and steps to get off the diet rollercoaster for good

• Discussion and information on how to work through specific challenges

• Tasty and nutritious meal and snack ideas + inspiration

And be part of a supportive private community that gets you without feeling shame or judgement

because you do not have to battle this alone

And what’s more it won’t cost you a penny!

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, she feels ashamed of her body’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

You may also want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY