Is the fear of weight gain stopping you from healing your relationship with food?

One formidable hurdle often stands in the way of making peace with food and your body – the fear of gaining weight. This fear is deeply ingrained, fuelled by societal norms, diet culture, and a pervasive belief that thinness equates to worthiness. But what if you challenged this fear? What if you dared to redefine health and happiness beyond the constraints of the scale?

The problem is that even if life feels all consuming, distressing, and these behaviours encroach on various aspects of your being, you still might feel conflicted about letting go because of the uncertainty that change will bring. The fear often stems from a nagging question about what might happen to your body if you abandon these familiar patterns. Diet culture, with its relentless pursuit of thinness, has normalised this fear, making it seem like the only acceptable goal is to be thinner.

Whether you struggle with chronic dieting, binge eating, bulimia, or emotional eating, it’s likely that your strict food rules and dieting behaviours have given you a sense of control. However, the longer they persist, its important to ask yourself if they are truly serving you now.

In order to move forward and overcome your fear its important to consider the following:

1. Understand Where your Fear has Come From

To overcome the fear of weight gain, it’s critical acknowledge its roots. Whether it stemmed from your childhood; perhaps you were made to feel unworthy because you weren’t the ideal body size? Perhaps comments were made at school, or your body felt different to others because you went through puberty early? Maybe the influence of social media, or the pervasive messages of diet culture have allowed these fears to take hold, dictating your choices and diminishing your self-worth.

2. Fixation on Weight Loss at What Cost?

Are you missing out on vital aspects of your life? It could be the lack of social connections with friends and family, or perhaps you're unable to share meals with your children, impacting your relationship. Maybe you find yourself with no headspace to focus on meaningful aspects of life that bring you purpose, joy, and fulfilment.

3. Reframe your Perspective

Challenge the notion that all weight gain is bad and all weight loss is good. Instead, focus on behaviours that promote overall health and fulfilment. This means reconnecting with our core values and remembering the things you loved about yourself and your life before weight loss became the priority. Many people’s unintentional weight loss is due to health issues- they may have an eating disorder or a chronic illness. For others gaining weight is a positive thing to help with hormone function, menstrual cycle regularity and, energy, vitality and health.

4. Embrace the Uncertainty

Life is inherently uncertain, and change can be uncomfortable. But by embracing the unknown and surrendering the need for all the answers, you can open yourself up to new possibilities. Yes, the journey may be challenging, but pushing through discomfort is where your growth begins.

5. Challenge Your Internal Dialogue

Challenge your inner voice that constantly equates your worth to your appearance. Your value, ability to be loved and worthiness are not dependent on the number on the scale. Instead, they are rooted in your experiences, relationships, and the joy you find in life. Talk to your self with compassion and kindness as you would with someone you care about.

Overcoming the fear of weight gain may be challenging, but it's also a journey toward reclaiming your health, happiness, and autonomy. By confronting outdated societal norms, reconnecting with your values, and embracing the uncertainty of change, you can free yourself from the shackles of diet culture and discover a more fulfilling way of living.

Do you long for a happy relationship with food, but are feeling lost on where to begin? Grab my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food, to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Body image and dieting – why changing your mindset is more effective than changing your body

If you are unhappy with your appearance, weight or body shape the likelihood is that you’ve spent years trying to work out how to change it.

Perhaps you have been jumping from diet to diet, over exercising or have even considered surgery.

Every year millions of women diet in order to change their body. In fact at least 50% of adult women are on some kind of weight loss regime at any given time, in order to help themselves feel better about it.

For many people I work with, this has literally hijacked their life – 24 /7 thoughts about food, their weight or shape– so there’s no room for anything else.

Is this the same for you?

If this is impacting your life, I wonder if you would consider the possibility that changing the way you think about your body is the solution as opposed to the relentless focus on physically shrinking it?

Yo-yo dieting – where weight is lost and regained in a never-ending cycle, has a significant negative impact on body image. A study was conducted with 88 larger bodied women who lost an average of 23 kilos following a weight loss diet. Their body image initially improved. However, when they had regained only an average of 2 kilos a few months later, their body image deteriorated significantly. And we know that weight regain is expected in up to 95% of participants following any weight loss diet.

Yo-yo dieting of course impacts health in many ways – check out my past blog – The hidden costs of yo-yo dieting for more info on this.

If you are a compulsive dieter, it’s first important to reflect on what your motivation is for dieting. Is it for physical health and wellbeing? Or to appear more ‘attractive’ – a fat phobic fear that you will be judged for not achieving the thin body ideal. Perhaps you don’t feel like you fit in or are worthy of love and respect?

Of course, looking after your body is important for your physical and mental health but it is extremely difficult to do so consistently if you despise it.

It is a myth that losing weight is the only way to feel good about your body. By learning to respect it you will be far more likely to look after it in a sustainable way.

This is why when clients who have been dieting for years, want to improve their health, we need to move the focus away from weight loss.

Yes- this can feel scary at first.

But with the right support it is possible to move forward.

Once you begin to see and feel the true benefits – your motivation and confidence will grow. This is when I see many clients loosing excess weight as a side effect of the changes they make – it is no longer their focus but becomes possible as they begin to think differently about their body and themselves.

I’d love to guide you on that journey

If you are struggling with disordered eating and your body image, you are constantly on and off diets, or find yourself craving sugar, emotional eating or bingeing, please reach out for support.

Book in a complimentary call to see how I can help you begin your journey to food freedom and transform your life 

Trapped in the diet cycle? Why 'all or nothing' thinking keeps you stuck

I help many women who are desperate to break free from dieting, having spent years or decades trapped in the cycle – exhausted by the headspace it consumes and misery it brings. They feel overwhelmed and confused not knowing how to eat without being on a diet and worry about what will become of their weight.

Many of my clients are overly restrictive with many fears and rules around food. Some find themselves binge eating or feeling out of control around foods. Others may be compelled to exercise excessively.

'ALL OR NOTHING' THINKING LIES AT THE HEART.....

All or nothing thinking lies at the heart of all of these distressing challenges and the inner dialogue is often 24/7.

This dichotomous thinking leads to attempts at restricting foods perceived as bad for their health or their weight. For most people this is unsustainable and often results in binging or emotionally eating the very same ‘forbidden’ foods.

The cycle goes like this; Eat the perceived ‘bad’ food, and automatic thoughts that follow are I’ve eaten really badly, I’m a bad person, I’m greedy, I have no willpower, I’ve blown it again. I need to start again tomorrow/ next week/ on Monday and so on.

Anxiety is often coupled with these thoughts. This may lead to skipping meals or severely restricting caloric intake. It may lead to a bout of punishing exercise to make up for ‘falling off the wagon’.

WHERE TO START...

If this is something you recognise with the way you approach your food, try removing the moralistic value from the foods. Yes, some foods are more helpful for our health than others but it is ok to have all types of foods some of the time.

Instead, focus instead on quality, nourishing foods you can add in to your diet. These will help you to feel better, lift your mood and stop punishing yourself.

When working with my clients we often work on visualising this work as a journey. I ask my clients to picture themselves on a cycle ride. Yes, they will hit bumps in the road. They may come off the bike every now and then – and that is normal and expected but that doesn’t take them back to the beginning of their journey. They just need to dust themselves off, get back on the bike and continue on.

If this s something you struggle with don’t battle with it alone. It is possible to find food freedom and create balance in your mind and your life.
I work with people just like you, who need a new approach  so they can reclaim their life.

Book in a complimentary call HERE to find out how I can help.

Please also come and join us in FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, FREE Facebook community- a safe place where you can feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. I do live videos in the group each week to discuss a new topic to support you on your journey and I share, food ideas, motivation and supportive practices daily – it’s free to join!

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