Can you truly accept your body while still wanting to change it?

‘If I accept my body, then it means I’m giving up on myself’

This is an all-too-common sentiment when it comes to discussing body acceptance.

This notion reflects a common fear that embracing your body implies you will lack the motivation for looking after yourself.

This perspective fuels the idea that your self-worth is dependent meeting unrealistic body standards.

However, working towards body acceptance can be a profound act of self-empowerment, challenging the idea that your value is determined solely by your appearance.

What is body acceptance?

Body acceptance is about embracing your body as it is while acknowledging that you may have areas you want to change. It's about treating yourself with respect and care, fostering a positive inner dialogue, and letting go of shame. It is not about striving to be perfect.

A Different Perspective

Consider viewing your body as your partner, as you journey through life. Would your real-life partner or children only deserve your compassion and respect if they were perfect? Shouldn't they be deserving of compassion regardless? Accepting your body follows the same principle.

Contrary to popular misconceptions perpetuated by diet culture, body acceptance is not giving up on yourself, your health and your body. Instead, it is the start of the journey of reconnecting with your body from a place of compassion and not fear or hate and helps to remove the self-judgment that keeps you stuck.

To begin this journey ask yourself the following questions:

1. Why do I want to change my body? Be honest about why you want to change it. Write your thoughts down.

 2. Are these thoughts coming from a place of compassion, self-loathing or fear? Examine each thought individually and make a note.

A fear-based thought could be I want to lose weight because my husband won’t love me

A compassion-based thought could be I want to lose weight to be in less pain  

 3. Ask yourself if each individual thought is actually true? Do these beliefs hold up under scrutiny. How would you respond if a loved one expressed similar thoughts?

Recognise that attempting to punish yourself into change through self-hatred is unsustainable and doesn’t work. True transformation comes from a foundation of self-compassion and acceptance. By embracing your body with kindness and understanding, you’ll pave the way for genuine healing. You are inherently deserving of love, respect, and acceptance—just as you are.

Navigating the complexities of emotional and disordered eating requires a multifaceted approach—one that prioritises mental and emotional well-being alongside physical health. Reach out for support HERE if you would like to book in a complimentary call to find out how I can help.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Is food tracking helpful or harmful?

For many people, food tracking is commonly associated with following a diet. Over the past century, various diets have emphasised the importance of keeping a record of meals, evolving over time to include tracking calories, points, and macros etc. Even diets claiming to be anti-diet, such as Noom and WW, still require users to log their food intake to stay within a designated calorie goal. Several of my clients who have used apps like MyFitnessPal in the past, report that this tracking of exercise and calories contributed to their unhealthy fixation on food and their body.

However, food monitoring in a healthy way can initially serve as a tool to help relearn your sense of fullness and hunger. It can allow you to identify foods and quantities that promote a feeling of satisfaction. None-the-less , it’s important to view this as a temporary tool whilst you gain confidence and trust in yourself.

Recognising which foods work well with your body can be insightful, but if you struggle with disordered eating patterns, it's advisable to avoid being overly focused on this initially. Some individuals can become excessively fixated on specific foods, causing stress around eating and potentially exacerbating any existing digestive issues.

A healthy focus would instead be on ensuring you eat enough food and working towards a balanced diet that leaves you feeling energised and satisfied. However, if journaling becomes a means to avoid food, obsess over your intake and even count calories, this will hinder your progress.

In my experience, food journaling in a healthy way can serve as a valuable tool for learning and moving forward. It can help you to observe the impact your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions have on your eating habits, alongside gaining appetite awareness whilst developing trust in yourself.

If you would like to try a healthy journaling approach, be sure to down load my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food, which explains how to get started.

This invaluable resource will also help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

Why I have a problem with ‘What I eat in a day’ content

In today's age of social media, we're bombarded with influencers, celebrities, and so-called 'experts' sharing the details of their daily food intake. We're told to eat like them if we want to look like them, be as healthy as them, or achieve wellness as they have. While I’m always interested in food inspiration and recipe ideas, this narrative can be problematic for everyone, especially for young people growing up with the pervasive influence of social media or particularly if you struggle with your relationship with food and your body.

Famous celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston, Victoria Beckham, and Gwyneth Paltrow have openly shared their daily food routines, often emphasising that they never deviate from this plan. The message is clear - follow their lead, and you'll achieve the same results.

Similarly, social media often presents a small, carefully curated, and excessively filtered part of someone's life. We don't really know what their relationship with food is like, and what works for one person certainly doesn't work for all.

We are all unique individuals with our own health history, biochemistry, and genetics. Each body has different requirements when it comes to food intake, nutrients, and calories. Everyone has their own food history and relationship with their body.

SO what could it mean for those constantly absorbing these messages?

Social media platforms have become ubiquitous in our lives, and with them, the prevalence of 'What I Eat in a Day' posts has soared. These posts are considerably influential and affect our perceptions of food, body image, and well-being.

Myths and Misconceptions:

Social media creates an environment where we are exposed to curated, picture-perfect representations of others' lives, often with a focus on diet and exercise. This curated content can be misleading and detrimental, especially if you are already struggling with eating disorders or disordered eating. Many myths have become deeply held beliefs about food, portion sizes, and calorie intake. Unfortunately Many 'What I Eat in a Day' posts promote restrictive diets, which can be extremely harmful and contribute to disordered eating and eating disorders.

Creates Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame:

If you face the daily challenges of managing their relationship with food, these posts can exacerbate feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame. This content has the potential to trigger past trauma or reinforce negative thought patterns.

Low Self-esteem:

These posts often lead to questioning your own choices and self-worth, making you feel inadequate in comparison. This can spiral into a vicious cycle of low self-esteem and self-doubt. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing your eating habits, body, and lifestyle to those portrayed in these posts.

What Can You Do About It?

If you want to continue using social media, consider looking at the content you encounter with a critical eye. Think about who is posting this content and what they are trying to promote. If these things are triggering or driving unhelpful thinking about your eating and body, then block and unfollow them.

You can also work on creating a more helpful feed by following accounts from creators of all body sizes, ages, races, and genders who promote body neutrality, acceptance, and a non-diet approach or talk about eating disorder recovery.

Focus on what foods feel good in your body and what your body needs. If you need help with this, you can download a free guide like "Breaking the Cycle," which offers four actionable steps to improve your relationship with food and your body.

The key is to prioritise your own unique needs and well-being. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to food, and your relationship with your body is a personal journey that should not be dictated by online trends.

If you are struggling with your relationship with food right now, be sure to down load my free guide ‘Breaking the cycle – your first steps to healing your relationship with food.’

 This structured 4 step guide is an essential resource for anyone who suffers from emotional or disordered eating.

In this guide you’ll learn how to: 

✔️Understand the best way to structure your eating routine

✔️Develop a better understanding of your body’s appetite cues 

✔️Navigate snacking to help you reduce cravings and feel satiated

✔️Use the journaling pages (included) to gain a deeper understanding of your eating behaviour, thoughts and emotions 

Also included: 

✔️My free appetite tool 

✔️My free journaling pages

✔️Snack ideas

Overcoming binge eating, low self-esteem and body loathing - Jody’s story

Jody came to me for help to rebuild her relationship with food, having particularly struggled during the lockdown with binge eating and low self-esteem. Coming out of the pandemic, she was extremely self-conscious, avoiding social events and exercise because of the shame she felt about her body. Jody was a self-confessed people pleaser never wanting to be ‘a nuisance or ‘make a fuss’. This was impacting all aspects of her life and she desperately wanted to create change but didn’t know where to start as she explained below.

“I have had periods of binge eating on and off for the last 10 years but during and following the Covid pandemic I hit my lowest point ever. I had tried regular therapy over the years and that had helped in some respects, but really needed something more. I was so pleased to find Marcelle but right after signing up and before getting started I did feel a bit hesitant as this felt like my last chance to “fix” myself.”

We worked on bringing regularity to Jody’s meals, enjoyment of food and mindful eating in addition to a great deal of work on body image and particularly building self esteem and assertion. Jody soon realised that she has the right to be heard, seen and understood which was especially impactful. Part way through the programme, she realised she was no longer binge eating and began to push herself out of her comfort zone when it came to physical activity and going out socially. This is what she had to say:

“Marcelle has been so lovely to work with -always so understanding and non-judgmental. It was such a relief to hear that I’m not the only person struggling with the things I struggle with, and to have learned so many techniques to help improve things.  I have never been a confident person and Marcelle has helped me to be more accepting of myself, and that’s been the starting point for making positive change. Marcelle is so supportive and understanding and has really made a difference to my life. I will be forever grateful for her help and guidance.”

When it comes to emotional eating and bingeing, there is always far more to it than the food you eat. Each and every client I work with is unique but share many of the same challenges. If this is something you are struggling with, please know there is hope -it is possible to overcome your difficulties and reclaim your life

AND WHERE CAN YOU START? 

If perpetual dieting has left you in a muddle about food and eating, and you feel overwhelmed anxious and confused about what, how much and when to eat then have a read of my free resource ‘What the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know

Is it possible to accept your body but still want to change it?

This week in my Facebook community, I explained the true meaning of body acceptance and talked through a simple exercise to help you find the relevant answer for you - we are complex beings and there is not a one-size-fits-all for this!

I have had some great feedback about this video training from some of the community members. so I thought I would share it with you. I will be continuing this conversation in my community this Monday. So if you're not already a member come and join us HERE. 

NB. If you are already inside the community, but don’t see my posts, please set your notifications to ‘all posts’ ( not ‘show highlights’) and you are less likely to miss helpful information.

*Catch up on the video below*

I record weekly live videos and provide daily motivation in the Food Freedom Collective community where you will be amongst like-minded women who get what you're going through.