Can you truly accept your body while still wanting to change it?

‘If I accept my body, then it means I’m giving up on myself’

This is an all-too-common sentiment when it comes to discussing body acceptance.

This notion reflects a common fear that embracing your body implies you will lack the motivation for looking after yourself.

This perspective fuels the idea that your self-worth is dependent meeting unrealistic body standards.

However, working towards body acceptance can be a profound act of self-empowerment, challenging the idea that your value is determined solely by your appearance.

What is body acceptance?

Body acceptance is about embracing your body as it is while acknowledging that you may have areas you want to change. It's about treating yourself with respect and care, fostering a positive inner dialogue, and letting go of shame. It is not about striving to be perfect.

A Different Perspective

Consider viewing your body as your partner, as you journey through life. Would your real-life partner or children only deserve your compassion and respect if they were perfect? Shouldn't they be deserving of compassion regardless? Accepting your body follows the same principle.

Contrary to popular misconceptions perpetuated by diet culture, body acceptance is not giving up on yourself, your health and your body. Instead, it is the start of the journey of reconnecting with your body from a place of compassion and not fear or hate and helps to remove the self-judgment that keeps you stuck.

To begin this journey ask yourself the following questions:

1. Why do I want to change my body? Be honest about why you want to change it. Write your thoughts down.

 2. Are these thoughts coming from a place of compassion, self-loathing or fear? Examine each thought individually and make a note.

A fear-based thought could be I want to lose weight because my husband won’t love me

A compassion-based thought could be I want to lose weight to be in less pain  

 3. Ask yourself if each individual thought is actually true? Do these beliefs hold up under scrutiny. How would you respond if a loved one expressed similar thoughts?

Recognise that attempting to punish yourself into change through self-hatred is unsustainable and doesn’t work. True transformation comes from a foundation of self-compassion and acceptance. By embracing your body with kindness and understanding, you’ll pave the way for genuine healing. You are inherently deserving of love, respect, and acceptance—just as you are.

Navigating the complexities of emotional and disordered eating requires a multifaceted approach—one that prioritises mental and emotional well-being alongside physical health. Reach out for support HERE if you would like to book in a complimentary call to find out how I can help.

If the idea of tackling your eating patterns feels overwhelming and you're unsure of where to begin, take a look at my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Food to kickstart your journey today

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

5 Ways to Improve Your Self-Worth

Do you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others?

Maybe you question your worthiness based on your appearance, weight or shape?

Cultivating self-worth is not an overnight process. It's a cumulative effort, and sometimes, the smallest steps make the biggest impact. Accept that you are not perfect, and that's perfectly okay. This is an ongoing, active practice that involves embracing your imperfections without judgment.

Improving your self- worth is perhaps the most powerful thing you can do when it comes to overcoming emotional, binge and disordered eating behaviours.

Here are some practical steps to get you started:

1.       Nourish Yourself First: Prioritise nourishing yourself in all aspects of life – not just food. Take time for rest, engage in self-care, and meet your emotional needs. Neglecting yourself can lead to feeling resentful, tired, and overwhelmed. By putting your well-being first, you'll be better equipped to care for others.

2.       Set Boundaries and Prioritise Self-Respect: Respect from others begins with self-respect. Let others know that your needs matter, and it's okay to prioritise yourself. Establishing boundaries is critical; it's like building a fence around your home. Say no when necessary and set clear rules for others to understand how to respect you.

3.       Trust that you are the expert of yourself: Don't let others dictate who you are or what you should be doing. Trust yourself and let go of old identities that no longer serve you – especially those tied to dieting or societal expectations.

4.       Define Meaningful Goals: Focus on goals that truly matter to you. Consider what brings happiness to your life in the present moment. By aligning with your purpose, you not only foster your self-worth but also create a sense of fulfilment that goes beyond physical appearance or external validation.

5.       Recognise Your Value: You are more than just your body. Reflect on the qualities and values that define you as a person. Ask yourself and those close to you: What do they value in you beyond your physical appearance? Why do they enjoy spending time with you? Make a list and add something to it daily.

Take one step today – no matter how small – towards growing your self-worth. Whether it's setting a boundary, prioritising self-care, or acknowledging your achievements, each positive action contributes to the foundation of a healthier relationship with food, your body and yourself.

Do you long to have a happy relationship with food, but don’t know where to start? Download my FREE guide Breaking the Cycle - Your First Steps to Healing Your Relationship with FoodFood, to begin your journey

This invaluable resource will help you:

✔️Know when you’re really hungry and when you’re not

✔️Learn when to eat that’s best for you

✔️Know the best snacks to help you stop craving and feeling out of control

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, as she is a victim of diet culture’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

My clients find that simply replying to any comments with ‘Thank you’ and then changing the subject can be extremely effective and empowering.

Alternatively you may want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Is it a new diet you need?

I wonder how long you have spent over throughout your life searching for the magic pill when it comes to weight loss? And how much money you have spent on miracle diets that promised to make the weight drop off over night?

If you are someone who has spent a significant amount of time in slimming clubs, slimming programmes or starting again on Monday, you may be beginning to think that something just isn’t working.

It is likely you have been taught the notion that calories in equals calories out, that low carb is better than low fat (or visa versa) or that drinking celery juice is the answer to all your prayers.

The weight loss group mantras seem to be about finding ways to cheat your body. It’s no wonder people lose weight and put it straight back on again.

What the slimming clubs miss is that unless you get to the root of what is going on for you, nothing will change in the long term and your mindset is at the core of this.

One part of this is taking care of your self-care. If you are an emotional eater, no ‘diet’ in the world is going to help you deal with what the REAL issue is – your wonky relationship with food. You need to rewire your food brain, because emotional eating or binge eating are major causes of feeling a diet failure but, unless you get to the underlying causes of the problem, you’re destined to yo-yo diet … forever.

Self-care is the recognition that only YOU can make yourself happy and that, if you make sure that you dedicate some time EVERY DAY purely for your own enjoyment, you will have more joy in your life, be more fun to be around and have far greater reserves to deal with the stresses of everyday life.

The miracle of self-care doesn’t end there. When you dedicate a small amount of time each day to your own happiness, there is less need to reach for the chocolate biscuits. I’m guessing you’re like many of my clients – you are usually so time poor, that rewarding yourself with treat foods like cake and biscuits is the easiest way to show yourself some self-love.

My experience when working with clients has shown me over and over again is that so little of why you eat what you eat has to do with nourishing your body. The greater part is to do with how you feel about yourself and about life in general. Eating half a packet of chocolate biscuits is much easier than getting what you really need, which might be a way to de-stress, feel loved, get attention, relax and even sleep. 

I am sure that you get what I am saying, but this is not enough for the magic to work. Just understanding won’t get you the benefits. You have to be in action.

I promise you that if you make a commitment to yourself, other challenges in your life will start to feel that bit easier. Maybe you need some support with deep rooted struggles; a slave to food, your weight or appearance or worry about every calorie that enters your mouth. Perhaps you’re unable to break free from the endless cycle of yo-yo dieting, binge or emotional eating, I want you to know, you are not alone.

I work with people just like you who need a new approach to gaining balance and moderation around food and eating. And I can help you to take action when you commit to doing something completely different so you can leave dieting behind for good. 

Un-diet your Mind is my new 21 day coaching course where you will unlearn your old food patterns & make new confident choices. I will be with you every step of the way, so you feel supported and motivated to begin the process of long lasting change. Its starting on Monday 1st November

Join my VIP wait list to be the first to be notified when the course goes live and have the chance to enrol at the discounted price!

The course is just £89 and only £69 to the first 15 people who enrol

How to protect yourself from other people’s body, dieting + weight-loss talk

If you follow my blogs and social media channels you might have started to question diet culture and understand more about the non-diet approach. Perhaps though, other people’s chatter has the potential to give rise to panic about your weight, feeling body shame or even envy if someone you know has lost weight.

The problem is that even if you have begun to have doubts about the effectiveness of dieting, there are plenty of other people still trapped within the dieting mindset and see this as their only option.

No matter where you are or who you’re with, it’s likely that someone will discuss their own body dissatisfaction, talk about their latest diet or weight loss and perhaps remark on your weight.

It might be that your mum has been commenting on your body or weight all your life. It is likely she will think this is normal, that she is being helpful and that this comes from a place of love. It’s also quite plausible that your mum had the same experience with her mum too.

WHY OUR REACTIONS CAN CAUSE THE MOST HARM

For many of the women I work with, their friends, family and even work colleagues can make triggering comments that can easily derail them if they don’t put certain measures in place.

It’s important to acknowledge that if your mum or friends have not done the work of dismantling diet culture in their life, they will continue to share their thoughts and beliefs with you -and think that its ok. So be prepared to expect it.  But know that the next time you will be prepared.

To do this, it’s helpful to understand that your thoughts moderate your emotions. This in turn will affect how you react to the situation.

So let’s take Sally for example. Every time she visits, her mum tells her that she’s on a ‘great new diet’ and isn’t it time that she tried this too as she hasn’t lost any weight. ‘Think how you will look after’ she tells her.

Sally is triggered by this conversation; she has been working hard on eating in a more balanced way and focusing on breaking her binge-restrict cycle. However, these remarks provide a cue for a cascade of automatic thoughts, ‘She’s right you know, I should be losing weight, I’ve failed at every diet so far, this isn’t working, what the hell is wrong with me? And the thoughts go on……

The automatic thoughts trigger a stress response and a range of emotions including confusion, despair, and shame. When Sally gets home she decides to skip her next meal and later in the day ends up bingeing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO YOU?

1. Firstly, give yourself compassion. This is key. The way you think is not your fault and has likely come from years of influence from your primary caregivers, your environment, your peers and mass media messages.

2. Offer the offenders compassion. They do not understand. They will need to go on their own journey in order to acknowledge the unintentional harm they may be causing.

3. Decide how you will think about a specific person’s comments in advance. Write down a prepared thought and keep repeating it to yourself.

(For Sally this thought may be something like; ‘My mum’s only solution is to diet, she feels ashamed of her body’)

4. Put boundaries in place:

You could decide to walk away from the conversation. Find a reason to remove yourself such as going to the loo, or taking a stroll outside.

You may also want to tell the person politely, firmly and clearly that discussions about your body or weight are a strictly no-go area. (If you are a people pleaser – please note that you have EVERY right to do so)

You might want to take it one step further by stating that you are not willing to engage in this conversation – how you look after your body is your choice and your choice only.

5. Thought work

This is something that will take time and you may need support from a coach who is qualified in this area. (I spend a minimum of 12 weeks working on mindset among other things with my clients). This involves becoming aware of your automatic thoughts without judgement and reprogramming your mind’s reactions to triggers.

Sally’s example illustrates how we create the reality through the thoughts we think which influence the emotions we feel. However, we can control not only our emotional reaction but also the aftermath of situations by changing what we think and believe.

Until next time

Marcelle x

P.S. Are you longing to find food and body freedom?

Would you love to make peace with your body and build a happy relationship with food?

Come and join us in the FOOD FREEDOM COLLECTIVE, Facebook community- a safe place where you can question, share, learn + feel supported without judgement, comparison and shame. In the group my aim is to help you cut through the confusion and anxiety you feel around food and eating along with sharing motivation and steps you can take to get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And what’s more it’s free to join!

If you would love to leave your years of dieting behind you and create positive change in your life then come and join us now!

JOIN THE COMMUNITY